Hamilton Herald Masthead


Front Page - Friday, December 4, 2015

Are We There Yet?

Jay Edwards

I mentioned last week there was a study from Denmark’s Happiness Research Institute, which concluded people who gave up Facebook for just one week reported suffering less envy and being “more satisfied with their lives,” than those who kept using the site.

My first thought was – Denmark has a Happiness Research Institute?

Do we? What about Iraq and Afghanistan? If anyone needs a happiness institute, it’s those guys.

But back to Facebook, I decided to run down the posts one day last week and, being totally honest with myself, see how long it took me to become envious.

The first post was a nice little photomontage of some friends with their young children. Been there, done that, so no problem yet. 

Next, my friend Amber, who’s an attorney, posted, “What’s the best way to start a trial day? By putting on your power suit and then shaking a carton of coconut milk you’d forgotten you took the cap off of.”

Now that’s great stuff, but I think I felt a twinge of jealousy that Amber was funnier than me. Plus, she had 73 likes and counting, and I know I’ve never gotten more than 11 for anything (not that I keep track).

Next, something called CuriosityStream posted a way to check out the world’s first ad-free streaming service for documentaries, which made me jealous I didn’t make documentaries.

The next one was from someone who posted news about their super-star athlete child, which really got to me, not because neither of my kids ever reached super-star athlete status, but that I never did.

Next was a post of a cartoon combining a turkey and politics; yes, the possibilities are endless.

Then my friend Joe posted that it was the 44th anniversary of the day D.B. Cooper jumped out of that plane. Joe said he would have a bourbon and soda that night in D.B.’s honor. This is a great post; a little history, a little humor, all in one sentence; it’s got it all. As far as envy goes, I think I’m out of bourbon.

Next was a post from SEC Country. It was a few days after the epic game Arkansas played against Mississippi State. As many of you know, I went to the UofA, so do I really need to talk about what I envy on this one? If I had to do it in one word though, it’s defense.

Next was someone who posted his “awesome” duck hunting photos. I’ve been duck hunting several times, the last being over 20 years ago, which probably gives away how envious I am of duck hunters.

Next was another SEC post reporting Les Miles might be fired by the end of the day. Whether this happened or not is old news by the time this column comes out. If true, I’ll miss old Les. As far as feeling envy? Well, it’s reported that Les makes $4,300,000 a year in school pay and $88,721 in other pay. I’m jealous Les’ other pay is more that my all-pay.

The next post was from a friend who was arriving for a few days in the Big Apple. KM and I love New York, and since we aren’t arriving there like my friend, well, you get the picture by now.

So that wraps it up from the Jay Happiness Research Institute. After my own independent study, I concur with my Netherlands’ colleagues that, since I am not arriving in New York for holiday, and I don’t make $4,300,000 a year as a documentary filmmaker; and the Hogs got no D, Facebook does in fact make me feel kinda blue. However, in this instantaneous info world we find ourselves in, it seems I’m over it.

Jay Edwards is editor-in-chief of the Hamilton County Herald and an award-winning columnist. Contact him at jedwards@dailydata.com.