Hamilton Herald Masthead

Editorial


Front Page - Friday, September 26, 2014

Are We There Yet?




Jay Edwards

Last week was about holes in one, yes I wrote holes. The bad news is neither were from my swing and my rifle-shafted irons that are soon to be replaced. Yes, I blame the equipment.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ve mentioned that KM comes from a large family; in fact she was the last of the Althoff village born to Margaret and Tony. KM came in at the tenth spot, the number that seemed right to finally stop on. They were civilized after all; and this was long before reality television. 

There were seven boys and three girls. None of the Althoff girls had much interest in the ancient game that arrived long ago from the Old Course in Scotland, to America, where it has cursed and blessed so many for well over a century. 

The boys were a different story, well, four of the seven by my count. They grew up on a road named Country Club, so it was a natural that they found their way down the street a bit to North Hills, where they will tell you they caddied three or four bags at a time. Each bag, they claim, weighed around 70 pounds. They were paid $2.50 a bag, with hopefully a gratuity thrown in (I don’t believe the Dalai Lama ever played there).

The best golfer of the four brothers is Dennis, who even now at the young age of 70, manages to go home after 18 most often with the Rabbit, or the equivalent of five bucks each from the non-Rabbit winners. 

But brother Bob (self-proclaimed “mother’s favorite”) says Dennis has a huge advantage. Bob tells us that while he was hunkered down in a rice paddy in Vietnam, defending us all from the communist aggression, Dennis was serving his country by playing golf with some colonel in Panama. Mom Althoff never said life would be fair.

Another of the golfing brothers was Richard, who we lost way too soon. I never had the pleasure of playing a round with him but knew him well as he was my Algebra teacher at Catholic High; and he taught me how to parallel park during driver’s ed in the summer, which still impresses KM.

It was the fourth golfing-Althoff, brother Bill from Dallas, who started this discussion when he emailed us the following on Sept. 12 – 

“My Friday golf group just finished playing hole #10. We were carrying over a 4-hole bet.

 It’s a cool rainy day here in Texas but we kept playing.

 #11 is a 185-yard par 3.

 I looked at my clubs and thought about a 7-iron but on second thought went with the 3-wood.

 I was first to tee off and took a mighty swipe at the ball. It went straight and true and landed on the green and roll gently into the hole!!!

 My first hole in one ever!!!

 I’ve got some good news, some bad news and some sad news:

 The good news is I won $4 on that hole in one.

 The bad news is it cost me $30 paying for drinks for the group to celebrate.

 The sad news is I did not see the ball go in the hole (I don’t wear my reading glasses while playing golf!). My friends had to convince me it went in the hole.

 It sure was fun writing a 1 down on the scorecard!”

Then, just five days later, we get an email from Bob, which read – 

“Ok it only took 55 years but I had my first hole in one today @ Alotian #16. 182 yards, 4 hybrid!!!” 

Bob’s a man of great shots but few words.

Congratulations to both; I’m so happy for you.

Jay Edwards is editor-in-chief of the Hamilton County Herald and an award-winning columnist. 

Contact him at jedwards@dailydata.com