Hamilton Herald Masthead

Editorial


Front Page - Friday, March 18, 2011

Under Analysis


Steve Jobs wishes he had thought of this



I was watching television in the media room at the Levison Towers when one of the partners, Judge Parker, came in and attempted to adjust the “rabbit ears.” The media room was once the library, but I’m certain Judge Parker didn’t know that, as he hadn’t done legal research in decades. He also didn’t know that the antenna that he was trying to adjust was no longer functional since we added cable to the television. Big law firms often retain retired judges in deference to the public service they once performed. Much like the antenna.

At home, I never get to see commercials on television. My wife is fast on the remote buttons to channel surf during commercials. At the office however, I don’t mind the occasional ad. It was in one of these ads that I learned of the new service offered by an electronics store. For an additional fee, you can trade in your latest electronics purchase when it becomes obsolete and get the new “latest and greatest.”

When it comes to technology, you only have the newest technology until you leave the store. My still shiny iPad became out of date this week with the introduction of iPad 2. The technology in the new iPad was available when mine was built one year ago. The good folks at Apple guarantee new sales by preying on this geek’s desire to have the newest toys. Apple isn’t the only company guilty of selling equipment behind the technology curve, it is simply the one that seems to get the best of me over and over. My wife thinks that the introduction of new Apple toys is predictably tied to my birth month on purpose.

Changes in the law are not quite so predictable. While some laws evolve over time, others change at the whims of legislators seemingly overnight. Contracts, trusts, and wills require regular modification to stay in line with the law. Conduct that was permissible yesterday might be forbidden today. And vice versa.

I can imagine what would happen if law firms added a “forever current” option to their legal services:

Client: I’m here to pay my bill but I have some questions.

Lawyer: Come right in! As you know, I’m happy to discuss legal bills at half my regular hourly rate. Ah, I see that you’re a proud owner of our new “iLaw.”

Client: (with furrowed brow) Right. You just created a new employee handbook for my company for a mere $3,000. That part I understand. But I paid you in dollars – what is the “currency fee?”

Lawyer: (chuckling) I see. The currency fee isn’t for your use of dollars, although I wish we had thought of that. The dollar isn’t doing as well as it used to, you know. The currency fee is a built-in charge so that we make sure your employee handbook is “current.” Mr. Client, the law changes rapidly. You have to stay up to date. You wouldn’t want to get sued, would you?

Client: No, of course not.

Lawyer: By keeping your legal affairs current, you don’t have to throw away the old handbook and start over every time the law changes. Instead, we take your old handbook in as a trade and give you a significant discount on a new one when the law changes. You didn’t just buy an old-fashioned handbook, you got the “iLaw”–guaranteed to be current until something new comes out.

Client: I get it, I get it. I bought an iLaw- nice branding by the way. But the legislature meets every year! Your guarantee could expire on election day.

Lawyer: I know! And each year there’s a pretty good chance that the political parties in power will change. Last year’s minority is this year’s majority. This year’s majority certainly will have a different agenda than next year’s.

Client: (getting angry) So my future is tied to whoever gets elected, and you have no idea what the law will be next year?

Lawyer: (smiling) Exactly. Law firms can tell you how to act based upon what the law was yesterday and is today. We can’t predict what it will be tomorrow. And if I could predict what elected officials would think the law should be, well…

Client: The law hasn’t changed in 100 years!

Lawyer: You’re right. And it might stay the same for 100 more. Who is to say, but do you want to take that chance?

Client: (fuming now) What if I don’t want to pay the currency fee?

Lawyer: That’s no problem. I’ll be happy to defend you at a discount for unknowingly breaking tomorrow’s laws.

The client in my mind’s eye doesn’t look nearly as happy with his legal services as the lady does on TV, walking out of the department store with a new computer. Then again, a new computer means that technology has taken a step forward. New law sometimes means that we’ve taken a step backwards. Who can be happy with that?

©2011 under analysis llc. under analysis is a nationally syndicated column of the Levison Group. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. This column was up to date when printed, but further updates, comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this newspaper or directly to the Levison Group via email at comments@levisongroup.com.