Editorial
Front Page - Friday, September 3, 2010
I Swear ...
A-Musing
Vic Fleming
It fascinates me that musing can be so amusing.
The lyrics of David Wilcox’s song “Top of My Head” used to haunt me – “The top of my head shines through my haircut/ Even when I brush, shape and style” – but now I’m so bald, I hardly ever think of them anymore.
About those signs that read, “Employees are required to wash their hands before returning to work”: Do they tacitly suggest that non-employees not wash their hands?
Am I the only one bothered by the fact that the same principle that runs the printer attached to my computer is used in eye surgery?
Who knew that the letters in RULE OF LAW may be rearranged to spell AWFUL LORE? And LOW EARFUL?
A gallon of jet fuel weighs between six and seven pounds, depending on temperature and other variables. A 747 holds 57,285 gallons of fuel. Do the math. Then make up your own question.
A large percentage of people who are charged with speeding, when asked, “How do you plead?,”?respond by saying, “I was going down a hill.” What’s a judge to say to that?
How could anyone working for a governmental agency think that they could use a government-owned car for anything other than absolutely defensible governmental purposes and not, sooner or later, be accused by the media or a political opponent or both of doing something improper?
“Awhile” (an adverb) is a single word. E.g., “After resting in bed awhile, I got up and mowed the lawn.” The phrase “a while” (an article and a noun) is appropriately used after a preposition, such as “for” or “in.” E.g., “I’ll get to your request in a while.”
In the David Wilcox song noted above, there is a lyric that goes, “… the young man telling me I must have been alive a while.” At least, I think it should be “a while,” not “awhile,” because it seems to me that the preposition “for” is implied in this usage.
I heard on NPR that Newt Gingrich told a reporter, when asked about his wife being 23 years younger than him, he said, “I kid my wife that I’m 4 and she’s 5, and therefore she gets to be in charge.” When Gingrich’s most recent ex-wife heard this, she said, “That’s my line!”
Kids in North America spend half a billion dollars a year on gum. (And half of them are still chewing it when they enter the courtroom for their first traffic ticket.)
You’ve heard of rice paper? It contains no rice.
I recently discovered a new dimension to my own tendency to transpose characters that I see fleetingly. I saw a sign that, on second glance, read, “SURVEY CREW AHEAD.” Somehow, on first glance, what registered in my mind was “SCREWY CURVE AHEAD.” That also turned out to be true.
Auburn Theological Semi-nary is in what state? If you guessed Alabama, you’re way wrong. It’s located at 3041 Broadway, New York, NY, 10027. According to its Web site, it “exists in covenant with the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)” and its new tagline is “Trouble the waters, heal the world.”
That’s my musing for today.
Here’s hoping it will hold you. For a while, anyway.
Vic Fleming is a district court judge in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he also teaches at the William H. Bowen School of Law. Contact him at vicfleming@att.net.
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