Editorial
Front Page - Friday, September 25, 2009
The Critic's Corner
David Laprad
In the beginning, when God created Hollywood, He commanded the movie studios to release their worst films during January and August of each year. January, because people are too exhausted from the holidays to go to the movies, and August to create a buffer between the blockbusters of summer and the Oscar contenders of fall. Simply put, seeing a new film during these two months can be hell on Earth.
Now, I have to give Universal Pictures kudos for releasing “Inglorious Basterds” in late August. Usually, studios reserve the last two weekends before Labor Day for the motion picture equivalent of upchuck, but director Quentin Tarantino’s World War II flick was a rare masterpiece.
That said, consider my choices the afternoon I went to see movies for this column: “All About Steve,” the Sandra Bullock comedy only one person in the world liked (and he writes for this newspaper); “I Can Do Bad All By Myself,” a sincere but cookie-cutter dramedy from writer and director Tyler Perry that looks just like “Madea Goes to Jail,” which was just like “The Family That Preys,” which was just like “Meet the Browns,” which was just like every other movie Perry has made; “Halloween II,” “Final Destination 3D” and “Sorority Row,” which collectively suggest being a teenager is now the most common cause of death; “Whiteout,” a whodunit so bad Warner Bros. refused to release it during January and August of 2007 and 2008; “9,” an animated movie that clocks in at just over an hour; and “Extract,” a live action comedy from the creator of “Beavis and Butthead.”
As I looked over my options, I let out one of those loud, exhausted sighs that involuntary escapes my mouth every time my wife asks me to do something. But since I had an afternoon to fill, I decided to bite the bullet and see two films, “GI Joe” and “Gamer” — mainly because the former has done well at the box office and the later was new that week.
In baseball terms, I batted .500.
I expected to dislike “GI Joe,” mostly because I couldn’t see how someone could make a good movie based on a plastic toy, so imagine my surprise halfway through the film when I realized I was having a great time.
“GI Joe” isn’t the smartest action picture around, but it does tell a coherent story. Also, each primary character is given his or her own history, and these background narratives often crisscross, fueling much of the action. So, despite my low expectations, I got caught up in what was going on.
I also enjoyed the action, even though “GI Joe” isn’t the best looking picture out there. There are some complex shots, but overall, the computer-generated imagery fails to rise to the level of “Transformers 2.” In fact, much of the movie looks like a Saturday morning CGI cartoon with badly incorporated human actors. The action choreography is so good, though, I didn’t care.
Director Stephen Sommers, the man behind the recent “Mummy” films, knows how to keep things moving. It would be difficult for me to describe a particular action scene in “GI Joe” because the whole movie is an action scene. When things slow down in the present, Sommers jumps back in time to show the characters fighting when they were younger; during the finale, he cuts between at least four theaters of combat. For two hours, he’s like a kid smashing a GI Joe and a Cobra doll together and making fight noises with his mouth, and I enjoyed watching him play.
I can’t say the same about “Gamer.” What contemptible dreck! It’s not that I didn’t care for the concept, even though I can’t imagine society devolving to the point where it allows the public to control death row inmates in live combat through mental links. Rather, I deplored the style and spirit of the movie.
In terms of style, the spastic jugheads who made “Gamer” apparently think shots lasting more than one second are too long, and if you show anything visually lucid, you’ve cheated your audience out of its money. I know that sounds backward, but during each of the battle sequences in which star Gerard Butler’s convict participates, I couldn’t tell who he was shooting at or who was shooting at him.
Then there’s the spirit of the movie. In short, “Gamer” features wall-to-wall grotesque behavior and perverted sexuality. This will entertain some viewers, while others will say it reinforces the nihilistic world in which the movie is set. I found it repulsive. In one scene, Butler unscrews the gas lid to a pickup truck and then vomits and urinates in the hole. Why? Because that’s what you get from movies released at the end of summer. Thank God for fall.
E-mail David Laprad at dlaprad@hamiltoncountyherald.
com.
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