Managers are often drained by the people part of their jobs. After working for years as an individual contributor, they are finally rewarded with a management role. But, management is not as fun as they had hoped.
In addition to their old tasks, the manager is now saddled with a job that feels like a combination of a therapist and a babysitter. But instead of watching over children, they are tending to middle-aged adults.
The interesting thing about this challenge is that the manager often creates it themselves. You heard that right. There is an easier way to manage that’s less taxing and takes up less time.
There are basics, such as treating your team with respect. Then comes trust and empowerment. Beyond these, however, is something not often thought about: Many managers serve as the person who works out the problems of their employees.
On paper, this sounds great. Who doesn’t want a manager who helps them to move boulders? But many work problems are not boulders. Most problems are composed of a mix of misunderstandings and feelings.
Early in my own management career, I began to test a strategy that I employ to this day. I’m happy to be a sounding board for employees if something frustrating is happening. Often, an employee will share an upsetting interaction they had in a meeting or on a project. They might then ask me to intervene.
This is where managers can waste emotional cycles and degrade their work culture. If they take the problem and run with it, they are hearing only one side. When they approach the other person, it becomes clear that people are talking about one another. And, it doesn’t allow the employees to grow closer.
It can be draining for the manager and create a cycle that is not sustainable in a busy work culture.
So, what is a manager to do?
Be a good listener. Most people simply want to be heard. If an employee is venting, they might need a listening ear more than an answer. Keep the conversation confidential, if possible. Employees want to know they can count on their boss to be trustworthy.
Ask the employee to offer their best solution. They may already have an idea. If not, this will put them into the practice of their own conflict resolution.
If the employee asks you to step in, consider another path. Encourage the frustrated employee to have one conversation with the other person. Discuss the goals of the conversation. Then ask that the employee report back afterward.
Assure them you are the backup plan if their solution is ineffective. Having this can help the employee to feel more comfortable to try something new.
Surprisingly, most employee conflicts are able to be resolved by having a single conversation. It also builds a closer, more trustworthy relationship between employees. And, it makes management easier.
Angela Copeland, a leadership and career expert, can be reached at www.angelacopeland.com.