The summer movie season might be over, but the opportunity to see the films released over the last few months at home instead of the theater is quickly approaching. With that in mind, I recently wrote about some of the best moments in movies over the summer; this week, I’ll cover the worst. As you consider what to rent, stream, VOD, or buy in the coming months, keep these things in mind.
1. The “Man of Steel” finale: Last week, I praised the scene in “Man of Steel” in which Jonathan Kent sacrifices himself for the good of his son and, ultimately, mankind. But that doesn’t mean the movie was without blemish. Quite the contrary. Its most egregious blunder was its finale, in which Superman and General Zod treat a large city like a LEGO construction set as they battle to the death, killing tens of thousands of innocent humans in the process. Worse, after it’s over, instead of searching for and rescuing victims, Superman gives Lois Lane a sterile kiss and utters something so cheesy, I groaned. I’m supposed to pull for this guy?
2. The coming of age scene in “After Earth”: Although the M. Night Shyamalan science fiction adventure has the dubious distinction of being Will Smith’s worst summer opening in 20 years, it failed just as badly creatively. The scene in which Jaden Smith’s teenage boy gives an impassioned speech about how his father has never believed in him, or given him a chance, blah, blah, blah, displayed one of Shyamalan’s biggest weaknesses as a filmmaker: he can’t direct actors. If a regular Joe like myself, sitting in a theater munching on popcorn, can tell the kid delivered a painfully bad performance, then why can’t someone whose profession is moviemaking tell? I liked “After Earth” better than most, but Will Smith’s real life son was a weak link.
3. “White House Down,” the part between the opening and closing credits: This movie stunk from beginning to end. If I had to pick one thing, though, it would be the scene in which Channing Tatum’s character does donuts on the lawn of the White House while Jamie Fox, as the president of the United States, shoots rocket propelled grenades at terrorists. White House Down might have been a terrible movie, but you have to admire the guts it took to include that scene.
4. “Elysium” plot holes: “Elysium” was like cinematic Swiss Cheese; it had more holes than a tasty Appellant. For example, why was the space station’s only defense a psycho with a rocket launcher on Earth? Why did the space station have no protective cover, allowing it to be easily boarded? Where were its security forces during all of the battles? (You see only a few robot guards AFTER the climactic scene.) Why would someone implant a computer program in his brain that would kill him if anyone tried to download it? Don’t they have USB drives in the 22nd century? I could go on. When you spend more time asking obvious questions than being entertained, the movie you’re watching has failed to do its job.
5. The lack of a consistent tone in “The Lone Ranger”: Disney is going to take a $190 million write-down for “The Lone Ranger,” which is no surprise given how ill-conceived it was. If you ignore the fact that it didn’t feel like a Lone Ranger movie until the last 20 minutes, partly because the actor who played the title role brought nearly no charisma to the screen, and partly because his character was surprisingly underwritten, you still have to deal with the wildly uneven tone. One moment, the bad guys are mowing down Native Americans with chain guns; the next, Johnny Deep is doing his Captain Jack Black schtick from “Pirates of the Caribbean” in Tonto make-up. What were they thinking?
6. Fast and furious editing: “Fast and Furious 6” was a huge success, both financially and creatively. I especially liked the strength of its story, which carried the characters in the series forward. It also had great stunts and cart crashes, but you could barely tell because of the hyper-quick editing. If you’re going to spend millions of dollars to pull off big stunts, show them for more than a second or two apiece.
7. Iron deficiency: I might be alone here, but I thought the third and last “Iron Man” movie starring Robert Downey, Jr., ended the series with more of a sputter than a bang. The Mandarin twist took every bit of steam out of the movie.
8. One hangover too many: Although I didn’t see “The Hangover Part III,” I have yet to speak with anyone who has one kind word to say about the movie, including people who loved the first two. The most common criticism I’ve heard is “pointless.”
If I had seen more movies this summer, this list likely would have been longer. But “The Smurfs 2,” “The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones” (which should get some razzing just for its title), “Tyler Perry Presents Peeples,” and other critically maligned fare escaped my gaze. Here’s looking forward to a fall release slate packed with more of the good and less of the bad and the ugly.