Editorial
Front Page - Friday, September 11, 2009
Are We There Yet?
Where talk is cheap
Jay Edwards
You may have heard about that thing on the Internet known as Facebook. I signed up a couple of months ago, and have recently been known to be staring at my computer screen with bloodshot eyes long past midnight.
The first comment I got from anybody after I joined was my 21-year old daughter Alexis, who said, “Wow dad, you’re on Facebook, that’s weird.”
I didn’t know at the time how right she was.
Since joining I’ve been asked things like, “If you were a body part, which would it be?”
I think someone named Mulva or Delores sent me that one.
Another question was, “If you were a famous serial killer, which one would you be?” That ones much easier; without a doubt I would be Dexter. Have you seen his girlfriend?
People send me things to drink all the time on Facebook. The first week I was on, I got a message that someone had sent me a margarita. “Great,” I thought, as I tried to figure out where and when I was going to get it. I’ve yet to have a sip.
Then there are a lot of different games people are always playing and asking me for assistance.
Like someone who just sent energy to her friends on “Reign of Vampires” and needs her friends to return the favor! It went on to say she “currently has received energy from zero friends and needs one more friend to send her energy to upgrade to a Mini Energy Pack!” Pray someone helps her.
Then there was someone who was killing people right and left last Sunday in “Mafia Wars.” The body count was well over 100 and this person needs a “White Poker Chip, an Ivory Cigar, and something called One Ball.” I’m not really sure what any of this means though.
Then there was the person who wanted to know “Which sex is the worst about washing up?” And, “Why is it so important?” He went on to say that “We’ve got the dirty truth on how and when to wash your hands.” Please keep us posted.
One good thing from all this is that I have been in touch with a cousin named Julie I haven’t talked to in a lot of years. She’s a mom of four as well as a successful artist. And after talking to her I got an e-mail from her mom, my Aunt Nancy, who tells me she was in Alaska recently with her husband Lew, where they saw a bear walking in the wild. I asked her if she thought she could outrun Lew.
Then I got a greeting from a woman who lives in San Francisco. She noticed that my profile picture has the Golden Gate Bridge in the background and told me she “crosses over it every day but never sees me standing there, LOL.”
I didn’t remember her at first, but then found out she and I graduated from high school together. I was shocked. It’s been good talking to her again.
I also knew she had a birthday last Sunday because Facebook flags birthdays, so you can wish your friend a good day, or not.
Speaking of friends, it says I have 110 of them on Facebook, but, much like it is in the fleshy world of vocal cords and ear drums, I only converse with a few — 110 friends? Please. There weren’t near that many guys in our frat house back in the ‘70s.
Then there was someone named Kathleen, who is a friend of a friend. I was watching their conversation one night (which not only feels weird, it looks weird when you write it). Anyway, she was telling the girl I did know (friend) that she thought my “weather was in her area code.” Well OK then.
My friend told me later this was a little more than a compliment. So I went back to the page where they had been having this conversation (huh?) and told Kathleen thanks, and also that it was funny because she has the same name as my wife. No response.
All in all I’ve enjoyed the past few months on this hugely popular social networking medium. But now I think I’ve pretty well exhausted my reservoir of YouTube videos, which if it weren’t for those, I guess I probably wouldn’t have lasted as long as I have. My apologies to the activists, but I think the old clips of Andy Kaufman doing Mighty Mouse or the opening to Pee Wee Herman’s Playhouse are about as good as it gets. Besides, it sure beats making conversation with those other 90 or so “friends” I don’t really even know. Of course, that can always change if one of them wants to buy me a real margarita.
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