Longtime celebrity watchers may not have been shocked when Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck, but what was surprising was that Lopez’s divorce petition did not include any mention of a prenuptial agreement.
A prenup is a legal document for soon-to-be-married couples that lays out how they will divide their assets during their marriage and if they divorce. They’re common for celebrities and very wealthy couples, but divorce law attorney Raiford Dalton Palmer says you should consider one even if you don’t have a lot of money.
“Prenups are not just for rich people,” says Palmer, who is a managing shareholder of STG Divorce Law. “They can be very important for people that don’t have as much money because every dollar spent on attorney’s fees is a dollar that you’re not able to spend on your children or yourself.”
If you plan to get married soon, here’s what you need to know about prenuptial agreements:
Have conversation early
When approaching the topic with your significant other, timing is key. Family law attorney Linda J. Ravdin recommends you have the conversation sooner rather than later and don’t wait until you’re halfway through organizing your wedding.
“As soon as they start talking about marriage, the person who wants the prenup should be saying something,” Ravdin says.
It’s also important to be aware of your state’s deadline to submit a prenuptial agreement. For example, California has a seven-day rule, which means that one person needs to present a preliminary prenuptial agreement seven days before the other person can sign it. This is meant to make sure the other person has enough time to review the document.
Approach with understanding
Talking about prenuptial agreements can be especially difficult since it involves full transparency about your finances. To avoid conflict or hurt feelings, attorney Julia Rodgers recommends approaching the conversation gently.
“It’s just as much an emotional document as it is a legal one,” said Rodgers, who is the CEO of Hello Prenup, an online prenuptial agreement platform.
Rodgers recommends discussing why you want a prenup and your fears surrounding it. One common reason younger people cite for wanting a prenup is witnessing how difficult their parents’ divorces were.
Ask the right questions
You should discuss what assets you have and how you would divide them if you happen to divorce. This is also the time to have important conversations about expectations during your marriage.
Rodgers recommends asking the following questions:
• Do you want children? If so, are both people going to continue working?
• If you don’t want children, what kind of lifestyle do you want?
• Do you want to buy a house or rent?
• How often do you want to take a long vacation?
• What type of debt do you have?
• Do you want to open a business in the future?
A less-painful divorce
Prenuptial agreements can be equated to estate planning, Palmer said. Couples don’t get married expecting they will divorce, but planning in case it does happen can save them headaches and money.
“It’s really appropriate for people that want to make divorce less painful, less expensive and they have property they wish to protect,” Palmer says.
With or without a prenuptial agreement, going through a divorce will take lots of time and money. But having a prenup can ease the conversations about the division of property, alimony and debt. However, prenuptial agreements don’t include child support or any other topics related to children.
Common misconceptions
A common misconception about prenups is that they benefit the highest-earning spouse, but this is not true, Rodgers said. Because prenuptial agreements are drafted by both parties, with their respective lawyers, they ideally protect both spouses.
Prenuptial agreements are not only useful if the couple divorces. Because they lay out finances and planning, they can also be used to lay out expectations from both parties during the marriage and in case of death.
No prenup? What happens then?
If you don’t have a prenup, what happens when you divorce will depend on the law in your state. Every state has default laws that establish how the division of property is handled in divorces. These laws typically try to divide the assets equally, but that’s not always the case, Palmer said.
Any debt or new property acquired during the marriage would also be divided according to state law.
“If you take on student loan debt during your marriage, that student loan debt could be considered marital or community property, depending on what state you’re in,” Rodgers said.
In some states, like California, if a couple doesn’t have a prenuptial agreement, they are required to divide their assets in half. In other states, such as Iowa and Colorado, the distribution will be proportional but not equal. Oftentimes in these states, aspects like earning potential and financial needs are considered.
After you agree to prenup
Once you’re ready to start drafting a prenup, you each need a lawyer to help you write or review it.
Ravdin first asks clients to fill out a worksheet where they can lay down what they’re looking for in the prenuptial agreement and use this as a blueprint for the draft.
“If it’s clear what they want or what’s acceptable to both of them, I can go ahead and draft the agreement,” Ravdin says.
The price of the prenuptial agreements process depends on your state and your attorney. In many cases, prenuptial agreements start from $1,000.
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