As a reporter, there’s nothing better than getting that great quote during an interview that you know will be the centerpiece of the article. It’s one of those that, as you’re taking notes, you make a special little “star” mark off to the side. It’s kinda like noting where, when and by whom the home run was hit in a baseball scorebook.
I’ve heard my share of home run quotes over the years. Some of them were not suitable to print for family newspapers.
Here are a few I’ve come across lately that I found priceless:
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.” – courtesy the late Orson Welles, the very robust actor/director/writer
“Never burn bridges. Today’s junior jerk, tomorrow’s senior partner.” – Sigourney Weaver
“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” – Will Rogers
“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde
“I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.” – Abraham Lincoln
“There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?” – Dick Cavett
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
Finally, from musician Frank Zappa, as only he could describe something: “A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”
•••
I believe we walked on the moon. Walter Cronkite said we did.
However, after looking at the images taken by NASA rover Curiosity released recently that are said to be of Mars, I’m capable of believing in some strange conspiracy theory.
Those images could have been of Carlsbad, Las Cruces or practically 95 percent of New Mexico. And, you know, Roswell is in New Mexico. Coincidence? I think not.
Back to Cronkite. When Neil Armstrong stepped down the ladder onto the moon, Cronkite became emotional and said, “Man is finally standing on the surface of the moon. My golly!”
•••
I remember covering the 1984 Liberty Bowl, where Auburn topped Arkansas, 21-15, but the Hogs probably would have won had Bobby Joe Edmonds not dropped a sure TD pass. He blamed it on being “too wide open.”
Auburn was led by legendary running back Bo Jackson, although he only had 88 yards on 18 carries. Arkansas All-America noseguard Tony Cherico, one of the more colorful Razorbacks I was ever around, was a freshman on that team. He was asked after the game what it was like tackling Jackson. Cherico’s response: “I wouldn’t know.”
As college football season nears oh so close, here’s my latest of favorite quotes from the sport. This is from the late, great voice of the Georgia Bulldogs, Larry Munson following a dramatic come-from-behind, 26-21, victory against Florida with a 92-yard touchdown late in the game: “Man, is there going to be some property destroyed tonight.”
There’s an old quote by someone whose name I’ve forgotten, but I’ve always thought of it while listening to radio play-by-play announcers if I’m caught driving down the highway on a Saturday night. The quote was about the late New York Yankees and This Week in Baseball announcer Mel Allen: “The greatest game I ever saw was on the radio.”
Another Munson classic, following a late victory over Tennessee with a short TD run: “We just stepped on their face with a hobnailed boot and broke their nose! We just crushed their face!”
I’ll end this column now as I Google “hobnailed boot.