There sat my friend, his face beet red, beads of moisture covering his bald dome, and big drops of sweat rolling down his cheeks. His wife looked at him with concern. She’d come there to make sure he didn’t die, and I was wondering if she thought she’d made a mistake in letting him go as far as he did.
But I knew Tim would be okay. This was a moment of destiny for him – a rite of passage that would give birth to tall tales his grandchildren would someday repeat in revered tones.
Besides, it was just a burrito.
Or was it? Called the BurHEATo, Salsarita’s on Gunbarrel Road in Chattanooga is claiming its new menu item is the hottest burrito in the world. While I doubt the good people there have tried every burrito in the world, I knew one way to test how spicy the BurHEATo really is: Call Tim Butler, a man with a steel tongue and resolve to match.
Tim and I go to the same church, and on occasion, our families have eaten together afterward. Once, we went to Famous Dave’s, and he brought his own bottle of homemade habanera sauce because nothing he eats out is hot enough for him. He did the same thing when we ate at Logan’s Roadhouse.
How high is Tim’s tolerance for heat? He’ll slice up fresh habanera peppers, put them on a sandwich, and eat them raw. He attributes his love of spicy food to his grandfather, who had some Native American blood in him, but I think Tim likes to live on the edge.
When Salsarita’s announced the BurHEATo, which will be on the menu through Sept. 22, the first thing I did was call Tim and say, “I have a burrito for you to try.” While I curious to see if he could handle the heat, I had another motive: I wanted to write an article about the BurHEATo, but I have a low threshold for spicy. Three pickled jalapenos on my Macho Nachos at Mojo Burrito makes my eyes water and my nose run, so there was no way in hot sauce hell I was going to eat something called the BurHEATo.
Here’s why: the BurHEATo includes sauce made with the Carolina Reaper, the Guinness World Record Holder for hottest chili pepper. According to Salsarita’s, it’s 300 times hotter than the average jalapeno! Maybe you’ve eaten a ghost pepper and thought nothing could be hotter. Think again.
Developed by Salsarita’s and tested in focus groups allegedly made up of “chili pepper fanatics” (Salsarita’s words, not mine), the BurHEATo contains freshly grilled chicken, black beans, rice, corn salsa, tomatoes, cilantro, and one teaspoon of Smokin’ Ed’s Carolina Reaper pepper mash. Whether or not Tim thought it was hot enough for him, I knew he’d eat his fill.
Tim and his wife, Connie, met my wife, Dawn, and me at Salsarita’s Monday evening for the big feed. Founded in 2002 in Charlotte, N.C., Salsarita’s offers an assortment of tacos, quesadillas, and nachos along with signature favorites like the Mexican pizza-inspired Cantizzas. Their selection of toppings includes seven salsas made in-house daily. Although Salsarita’s has more than 80 locations in 19 states, the Gunbarrel location is Chattanooga’s only one.
We made our way to the counter where customers order their food, Subway-style. Tim took one look at the bottle of hot sauce, which has a drawing of the Grim Reaper on it, and started stomping his feet like a race horse eager for the starting gate to swing open. “This is going to be good,” he said in his Southern drawl. (In addition to impressing friends with his tolerance for spicy food, Tim uses his drawl to do a great impression of Larry the Cable Guy.)
My first inkling that things were going to get interesting was when the lady behind the counter squirted some of the sauce into a small plastic cup before pouring it on the other ingredients. Standing three feet away, the fiery aroma hit me in the face like heat from a campfire. “That’s new,” I thought.
Tim’s BurHEATo came with a pair of latex gloves. “You don’t want to touch the burrito and then touch your face,” someone behind the counter told me. Tim said he liked the idea, although to me the gloves served as an omen of what his mouth was about to experience.
Tim wasted no time sitting down and unwrapping the BurHEATo, which looked as innocuous as anything from Taco Bell as it sat there in its tortilla wrapping. Then, without ceremony, he picked it up and took a bite. After a few chews, he nodded his approval. “It’s hot,” he said before tearing off another mouthful.
A few bites in, Tim’s face started to redden, and he began pausing longer between bites. Next, beads of sweat started to pop up on his head. Before long, he looked like he was standing next to an open oven set to broil, as his face had turned a bright red, he was covered with a sheen of moisture, and the corner of one eye appeared to have wrinkled. At that moment, the Tim that does a great impression of Larry the Cable Guy melted away, and the Tim with the steely resolve took over.
It’s also when Connie put her hand on his arm to encourage him to stop. But Tim plowed forward for another bite or two before putting what remained of the BurHEATo down. I thought he’d been beat.
But I was wrong. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes of his tongue, he asked for the one thing that would see him through to the end: milk. (Water only spreads the heat; milk coats it.)
My wife looked at me and said, “Get him some milk.”
Salsarita’s didn’t have any, so what was I to do? Connie gave me a brief, pleading glance.
My wife looked at me again with an expression only I am privileged to receive, and said, “If you don’t want to make a mortal enemy out of Connie, get some milk.”
She suggested Jason’s Deli, which is around the corner in the same building. I got up and ran out. About three minutes later, I returned with a pair of small cartons, having worked up a sweat of my own from running.
Tim opened the first container and sucked it down like a Hoover.
He then shared his thoughts as he finished the BurHEATo. First, it was the hottest thing he’d ever eaten, and that’s saying something. Second, the heat was so intense, he was unable to taste any of other ingredients. Most important of all: he’d eat another one someday.
Tim’s feat is nearly superhuman. According to the manager, only four other people at that location had been able to finish the BurHEATo. If you go to Salsarita’s and she says “five,” you’ll know Tim was the last one, meaning you’ll have a tough act to follow. If you make to the end of your meal like Tim did, post a video of yourself eating it on YouTube, as doing so will earn you a free Salsarita’s t-shirt. I wonder if it says, “I ate an entire BurHEATo, and all I got was this silly t-shirt.”
While Salsarita’s is probably stretching the truth to call the BurHEATo the hottest burrito on the planet, it was the hottest thing Tim had ever eaten, and that’s good enough for me to endorse it to our readers – but only those who have a steel tongue and resolve to match.
For more photos, pick up a copy of the Hamilton County Herald.