Years and years ago, in response to a book titled “Real Texans Don’t Drink Scotch in Their Dr Pepper,” I wrote a column suggesting what “Real Missipians” do and don’t do.
(And yes, that’s how I spelled it, to align with proper Magnolia State pronunciation. Who needs every one of those syllables?)
The entries were meant to be both humorous and slightly catty, like these: “Real Missipians stand when they hear ‘Dixie,’ even when it’s played by a car horn,” and “Real Missipians are proud of William Faulkner, but never got around to reading one of his books.”
One of the others in the same vein was this: “Real Missipians have never been to New York but know they wouldn’t like it.” By which I meant not the state, but the city. The one that never sleeps. The Big Apple. Gotham.
As it happens, I’ve recently seen that anti-NYC sentiment displayed on my Facebook feed, proof that it still has more than a little truth to it. I suspect many “Real Tennesseans,” in keeping with the theme, feel much the same.
When I wrote the original, I’d never been to New York myself, so it was a convenient target. But I come before you today as a veteran of hundreds and hundreds of visits, including a four-day birthday swing this past week, to argue against the bias. It’s unfair.
True, New York has its flaws. Far too many people in Times Square, for starters. But the same can be said for Nashville’s (copycat) Broadway and environs with the same solution: Don’t go there if crowds of tourists aren’t your thing.
Having said that, you should check it out at least once anyway. For the experience.
It also certainly is expensive. I made the mistake of ordering a celebratory glass of single-malt scotch on my birthday without first inquiring about the cost. Ouch. Hotel rooms can cost an arm and both legs. And an Uber to or from LaGuardia Airport? Sheesh.
The weather can also be quite uninviting. Nothing bakes like 90-plus degrees in an asphalt-and-brick jungle. And come winter, snow isn’t an opportunity for frolicking sled rides. It’s a mess to navigate. And don’t even think about driving in Manhattan. The traffic makes bumper cars seem orderly.
I also appreciate that the liberal politics are a turnoff for many Southerners. But here’s the thing: You’re not required, as a visitor, to register and vote as a Democratic Socialist, despite the new mayor. You are free to remain resolutely MAGA, though I suspect the hats might not be warmly greeted.
You can also take advantage of those liberal politics by, for example, stopping in at any one of the profusion of cannabis dispensaries scattered about the city. If, you know, that’s your thing.
It is my thing. (I’ll have more to say about that and Nashville before long, I suspect.)
If you enjoy adventurous eating, you can also be amazed and gratified by the vast array of ethnic cuisines available, which make even the admirable Nolensville Road international grub bonanza look anemic. Not to mention the only reliably palatable bagels.
Baseball fan? I enjoy Nashville Sounds outings. But there’s no comparison to games at Yankee Stadium or Citi Field, where the Mets hold forth. Basketball your cup of tea? The new NBA champion Knicks are on hand, as are the Brooklyn Nets.
A few other attractions you won’t find anywhere else: Statue of Liberty. Empire State Building. Central Park. Sept. 11 memorial. Grand Central Terminal. Fraunces Tavern. Chelsea Market. And museums aplenty: Metropolitan. Modern Art. Guggenheim. Natural History. Etc., etc., etc.
All of those are worth seeing, and you probably know about them. But there’s much more below the usual tourist radar, in the portions of the city where people actually live. Places like Tompkins Square Park, for example, which will show you how nature-starved urbanites flock to a delightful little 10.5-acre green(ish) oasis in the East Village/Alphabet City. Like ants attracted to a sugar cube. Community, on display.
The biggest argument for a visit, though, is not any of the usual suspects, it’s what New York City represents: Us. Government power resides in Washington, D.C. (which you should also visit) but New York is the undisputed financial, cultural and – arguably – spiritual capital of this country. It radiates life, energy and vibrancy.
I’m not saying you ought to move there. But if you boycott that quintessential American city? I won’t call you un-American. Just chicken.
Joe Rogers is a former writer for The Tennessean and editor for The New York Times. He is retired and living in Nashville. He can be reached at jrogink@gmail.com