Editorial
Front Page - Friday, June 25, 2010
The Critic's Corner
David Laprad
“The A-Team” is a headache sandwiched between opening and closing credits.
I’d read several negative reviews and seen that the movie tanked at the box office its opening weekend, but I’ve often found myself at odds with popular opinion when watching a film, so I went in with an open mind. I also thought it would be to my advantage that I’d never watched the ‘80s television show on which the movie was based, and it wouldn’t matter to me if the filmmakers had gotten a few details wrong.
I tried my best to like the movie. I settled in for a good time as three of the four men who make up the A-Team appeared in separate scenes in Mexico, each one dealing with a potentially lethal situation. I smiled as Hannibal, the leader of the pack, escaped a pair of corrupt policemen and their hungry Rottweilers. I laughed as a crime boss poured gasoline on the car tires he’d slipped around Faceman, knowing his prisoner would be rescued at the last second. And I grinned like a schoolboy as Baracus (played by Mr. T on television) took out an entire gang of thugs to retrieve his pickup truck.
I was even a good sport about things that made no sense. To rescue Faceman, Baracus drives his pickup over a sand dune and into a makeshift camp the bad guys had set up in the middle of the desert, catching everyone by surprise. I couldn’t believe none of the dozen heavily armed bad guys heard the truck’s 12 cylinders roaring across the open terrain, but I chuckled and let it go.
I was still onboard as Hannibal sprung Murdock out of a mental ward so the mechanical wizard could pilot a rusty medical chopper out of Mexico as part of their escape.
I wavered as the crime boss, in hot pursuit in his own helicopter, fired hundreds of rounds of armor-piercing ammo and several heat-seeking missiles at the A-Team, only to fail to hit his target. But I reminded myself I was watching a summer action movie, and it was OK if the filmmakers were up in the air, too, flying by the seat of their pants.
I kept ignoring the warning signs: the slight throbbing behind my eyes as I noticed the action involved little more than queasy camera work, loud noises and rapid-fire cuts; the dull ache between my temples as I listened to dialog made up of brief sound bites explaining the plot or reacting to the action; and the jolt of pain that shot through my head as Hannibal guided a freefalling tank into a lake by telling Murdock to “turn the turret 45 degrees to the left and fire!”
The plot eventually reared its tiny head, forcing me to reconsider my position. I tried to care as a story involving counterfeit money plates, Faceman’s ex-girlfriend, a CIA operative and a double-crossing U.S. Army general disguised as a rich Arab played out before me, but I couldn’t, so I admitted defeat and closed my eyes.
The throbbing subsided, but the dull ache intensified, as I could still hear the characters talking.
Once I’d resigned myself to watching the rest of the film, my mind started to wander. Why was an “A-Team” movie made? Does anyone still watch the TV show? Were audiences demanding an updated story? Are studio heads that hard up for ideas?
I already knew the answers: Hollywood executives only green light projects they believe will make money, and if something was profitable in the past, then it should be profitable today. The problem with that line of thinking (even when it results in a film as good as “The Karate Kid”) is it doesn’t leave room for originality.
It’s also not working. This summer has been one of the worst at the box office in several years. Is everyone broke? Are cash-strapped consumers upset about higher ticket prices? Sure, but people find a way to do the things they enjoy, and they’re not beating a path to the movies. I think that’s because they’ve realized there’s nothing new to see.
The upside to this is it could force Hollywood to rethink its strategy. Watch what happens when “Inception” is released in July. It’s a big budget action film based on what appears to be a unique idea by Chris Nolan, the man behind the recent “Batman” films. If it strikes a chord with audiences, innovation might be back en vogue at the movies.
Until then, I’ll be thankful for closing credits and over-the-counter painkillers.
Email David Laprad at dlaprad@hamiltoncountyherald.com.
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