The name of this space is “Are we there yet?” I was thinking of it last Wednesday somewhere high over mid-eastern Tennessee, as we flew through a thunderstorm that the farmers and lawn-owners of The Natural State would more than welcome these days.
We were flying along on the leg from Memphis to Knoxville, everything seemingly fine. I had even managed to somehow navigate my 6'4'' frame through the less than roomy restroom with the slanted ceiling. Let’s just say that you have to duck if you’re taller than 5'5''.
As I was enjoying the experience, the door opened suddenly behind me and I turned around to see what was up. I knew I had slid the latch to lock the door but it didn’t matter because someone was there, not for long, but long enough for me to see she was a brunette. A door had probably never been shut so fast. I was traveling with Publisher Boss, and seconds after I heard the door slam I was sure I could make out his laughter, from where we were seated on the left side of row 13. The right side of row 13 was the bathroom where I was standing, the latchless bathroom.
When I came out, the brunette was standing a few rows away, giving me plenty of space. “Sorry bout that,” she said to me. “No problem,” I answered back, as Publisher Boss said to her through his laughter, “He never locks those doors.” I took my seat next to the window. A loud noise came from the bathroom door, which could have only been he sound of the door’s latch. “See, that’s how you do it,” Publisher Boss snickered.
I looked out the window at the darkening sky. The stewardess got on her intercom and told us we would need to take our seats and turn off all electronic devices because there was some “weather ahead.” The brunette came out of the bathroom, looking straight ahead and quickly walking, she probably hoped, out of my life forever.
I watched her take a seat near the front about the time the first big turbulence bump shook the plane, and all thoughts of door latches were long gone. The bad weather probably lasted 10 minutes or so, but it seemed like forever until at last the welcome jolt of rubber against concrete told us all we would live a bit longer. When the plane rolled to a stop the pilot received a round of applause from his cabin of relieved souls, and one of them at the very back of the plane returned his thoughts to why the bathroom door latch had failed.
•••
So do you believe it’s true that after a married couple lives together for many years they begin to share some kind of telekinetic – ESP thing? What happened was this. Kathy and I were still in bed this past Wednesday morning, trying successfully to talk each other out of our two-mile walk. I was looking at The Weather Channel on my iPad, hoping for some of those orange clouds above or near Pulaski County. Suddenly, as often happens to me and for no apparent reason, a song popped into my head and I began humming it. This happens often at work, where I either hum or whistle, making Amy, the Data Queen, name that tune and laugh at me. That’s OK, at least there you don’t have to duck to get in the bathroom and the door locks work. But I digress.
So I’m looking for clouds and humming away the score to “Gone With the Wind,” when Kathy says to me, “Are you thinking about “The Sound of Music?”
“That would ‘Gone With the Wind,’” I said.
“Oh my God! That was ‘Gone With the Wind.’ Why were you humming that?” she asked me in a suddenly much more serious tone.
“I don’t know.”
“No, really,” she persisted while firmly grabbing my arm, “why were you humming ‘Gone With the Wind?’”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Right when you started humming that I was laying here thinking about that scene where Scarlett and Rhett were dancing. When she was supposed to be in mourning and was dressed all in black. And then you start humming ‘Gone With the Wind!”
“Which you thought was ‘The Sound of Music.”
“That’s because I was still so deep in thought about that scene and it never occurred to me you would be humming the theme from it. Isn’t that weird?”
Which, I had to admit, it was. Now if we can just figure out a way to make some money off of it.