Editorial
Front Page - Friday, June 19, 2009
Are We There Yet?
The Boss, a rooster and mom
Jay Edwards
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
My daughter and her friends survived another year at Bonnaroo, the third for them, I think. For those of you who may not know, I’m talking about the annual Woodstock-like music festival at the 700-acre farm near Manchester, Tenn.
Not a big fan of crowds, especially over 100,000 of the young smelly kind, I nonetheless became green Saturday night upon hearing from Alexis that she was heading over to the main stage to hear a 59-year old rocker named Springsteen. The boss went at it over three hours, playing 28 songs, including “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” I would have paid to see that.
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So this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” – Alvy Singer in Annie Hall
Besides being a quasi-journalist I am a Realtor. After a house I listed recently sold, the buyer and her agent were doing what is known as “the final walk-through.” This is the last look a buyer takes of the property before closing, to make sure that the repairs that were supposed to be done in fact have been. It’s critical everything goes well.
So as they surveyed the beautiful old Spanish mission-style house near downtown, things on the checklist were working out to their satisfaction.
That’s when the rooster next door decided to crow.
Yes, apparently in the past few days the neighbor next door went out and bought herself a rooster – not the normal, rooftop, weathervane kind, but the cockfighting, Fog Horn Leg Horn, crowing kind.
I learned a few things this week. You can have up to four hens in the city limits, but no roosters. I don’t know if there are exceptions to that, like if your rooster is shy, or a mute, or even if he is headless, like the world famous “Mike.” (www.miketheheadlesschicken.org).
None of that really mattered. I was just trying to get everyone to the closing table. And the last thing anyone wanted at the 11th hour was a rooster who thought he was Big Ben.
We called the owner of the rooster who said that if it was a problem she could relocate the bird to her mother’s farm in the northern part of the state, far from earshot of the buyer. We told her we thought it would be a good idea and “thank you very much.”
Then on Sunday night, two days after closing but before possession had been transferred, the buyer’s agent stopped by the house to pick up the key. As she exchanged pleasantries with the owner who was in the process of moving out, she turned to get in her car and heard that familiar and unpleasant sound of “cock-a-doodle-doo!”
Needless to say I received a call shortly thereafter and, after listening to the agent’s plight, agreed to make another call to the rooster’s owner. That took place the next morning and went very well I think, all things considered. She asked me if they were just concerned about the rooster crowing at night, I told her that I really thought that they would prefer the rooster be gone. So she reassured me that it would be, and soon.
I know it’s hard to give up a pet, but being the good neighbor that’s what she agreed to do. And so, as they say down on the farm, all’s well that ends well.
•••
I was just sent the following e-mail by my very close right-wing buddy Joe Penor, which thankfully was not political.
At five minutes and six seconds after 4 a.m. on the 8th of July this year, the time and date will be — 04:05:06 07/08/09.
Joe is retired these days and so he has more time to figure things like this out.
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It’s probably not such a good idea to be climbing around on cruise ship railings. I mean, what are railings for? But 46-year old Larry Miller decided he just needed a better look at the scenery. Larry slipped and fell overboard from his Carnival cruise ship. He was rescued later from a buoy near St. Petersburg. Sounds like something from that hangover movie.
Since then another passenger has been reported missing from a Carnival liner. This time the passenger was a 50-year old woman who went overboard south of Pensacola. As of Tuesday evening she was still missing.
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Lastly, to a special lady in my life who celebrated her 80th birthday this past weekend: Happy birthday Mom. I hope you have many more.
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