I spent time reflecting in the Levison Towers Meditation center this week. I believe this suite on the 18th floor was supposed to be a “Mediation” center where clients would come and work out their disputes. The good folks at Mike’s Diskount Sygns thought differently and misspelled the placards in the lobby and halls. Rather than repaint and admit that a mistake was made, the partners decided to add a rock garden and pipe in pan flute music. We still hold mediations here, by the way. They are just more zen.
The pan flute is a welcome respite from the music of the cicadas flooding every waking and sleeping minute here in the Midwest. We dodged between the clumsy bugs on the way to my son’s high school graduation last week. He was not impressed that these creatures began their lives about the same time he did. It was not wasted on me that when the offspring of these bugs buzz the earth my career, and perhaps even my time walking on earth will have drawn to a close. And so it is, Gentle Reader, that today’s missive is born of meditation and little more. Forgive me if things seem a bit random.
I received an email from a young lawyer this week. I emailed first, telling her that I didn’t think her discovery responses were in compliance with the court order on the topic. I didn’t accuse her of any misdeed, but thought she simply didn’t realize what she had done.
She didn’t appreciate that I took issue with her responses, and told me so. Her exact words were “I don’t appreciate your improvident assertion that I have not satisfied my obligation fully and completely.” Two groups of people speak this way: pretentious Ivy Leaguers and folks trying to compensate for some inadequacies. I guess there is a third possibility, that this lawyer came to our area from a time machine and actually lived in the 1800s. While her lack of familiarity with current styles seems to support this hypothesis, I doubt it. Either way, “improvident” was the wrong insult.
Rather than cast aspersions (I can use big words too, ya know) at my opponent, I would just offer this: I have an English degree from an ag college- I am not exactly hoity toity. You are not going to impress me with your big ol words, especially if they are the wrong big ol words. And nasty rarely wins the day.
The message underlying this email was that my opponent enjoyed a fairly high opinion of herself, which I didn’t properly comprehend nor currently share. She learned somewhere along the way, probably via correspondence course, that lawyers are supposed to fight. A lot. This notion of the Rambo lawyer should have died after the movie series did. Instead, as says the bard in “Taming of the Shrew,” lawyers should strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
I can’t think of a single time in my practice, which has now run almost two decades, when nastiness got me anywhere. Not that I didn’t get nasty a lot back in the day.
I can, however, think of many cases where I tried to behave thoughtfully, like a real human being, and the favor was later returned. And in the best cases, I have made friends where I could have easily made an enemy. Friends come and friends go, but enemies accumulate. There is always room in the briefcase for carrying a grudge. I would have told my young adversary that, but she wouldn’t return my phone calls. Much easier to be a paper, or email tiger, as it were, than to spew venom face to face or on the phone.
The notion that lawyers should behave as friends has invaded my behavior the past few years. I am resolved not to do much in my practice that isn’t fun. I try not to get too worked up over the day to day stuff. George Carlin said it best, “don’t sweat the petty stuff.” Google that one. Once you start ignoring the petty stuff, you realize that most of the nasty fights lawyers face are simply petty.
At the end of the case, lawyers will either win, in which case we move on to the next matter, or lose, in which case we move on to the next matter. For the losing side, there is disappointment and empathy with the client who has truly lost their case. Even the feeling of failure fades eventually as the warrior lawyer prepares for another battle.
In the meantime, I have the privilege to work in a profession filled with smart and motivated folks. Most were at the top of their high school and college classes and have triple digit IQs. Winning, losing and just moving in this circle is pretty heady stuff. I hope my young adversary realizes how fortunate she is someday. In the meantime, if she wins the case we have together, I hope she doesn’t mistakenly think it was because she outnastied me. And if she loses, I hope I remember not to gloat, but to offer her a beer and a kind word.
©2011 under analysis llc. under analysis is a nationally syndicated column of the Levison Group. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. He limits his practice to having a good time and doing good work, with only occasional drudgery. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this newspaper or directly to the Levison Group via email at comments@levisongroup.com.