I’m a movie theater snob. I like big screens, plush seats and booming sound. Air conditioning, clean carpets and fresh popcorn are important, too. What’s more, if the picture isn’t lined up right, I’m the first one to jump out of my seat and let management know. These things make the world around me disappear and draw me into a film.
When you go to the drive-in, the surrounding atmosphere is part of the appeal. Unfortunately, my memories of going to the drive-in theater as a child are not good. I remember the monotonic speaker that hooked onto the driver’s window, the scratchy prints of old movies and other kids running wild. My mom and dad were strict, and made my sister and me lie down in the back of our station wagon after the first movie.
So it was with some reluctance that my wife and I agreed to go to the drive-in with some friends. We’d been hearing about the Wilderness Outdoor Movie Theater in Trenton, Ga., for a few years, and were curious about what, if anything, had changed since we were young.
My first surprise came when I asked her what was showing. I half expected her to say “Wrath of the Titans” or some other dreck that had come out in March, but she said “Men in Black 3” and “Think Like A Man” - both new releases I was eager to see.
Driving to Trenton takes about 15 minutes from downtown Chattanooga. It was a pleasant evening, so we enjoyed the drive from Ringgold. We arrived at 7 p.m. and were one of the first vehicles to line up for when the gates opened at 7:30 p.m. I’d resisted leaving that early, but once I saw the cars lining up behind us, I was glad I’d listened to my wife. (She will say that doesn’t happen often.)
Seven bucks apiece got both of us through the gate, and within moments, we were parked in front of the larger of the two screens. I watched as people more experienced than us backed into their spots and set up for the evening. Some came in pick-ups with queen mattresses stuffed into the beds, other came in SUVs and set up law chairs in a half circle around the back of their vehicle, and still others pulled in with the intent of watching the movies through their windshield.
With two hours to kill and my stomach on empty, we decided to get something to eat. As we made our way toward the concessions building at the far end of the complex, I got my first good look at our surroundings. And I was impressed.
Kids were already playing Frisbee on the large swath of grass in front of the screen. Behind the projection booth at the back of the lot was a large, well manicured grassy knoll. It was filling up, too. Large speakers on the back of the booth allow people to lie on the grass and watch the movie, although at that moment, kids were running around and tossing football while their parents prepared a birthday celebration at a nearby picnic area. Hills and trees surrounded the theater, making it feel as though we were secluded from the rest of the world - and the cares that waited for us there.
As we approached the concessions building, I mentioned how clean it was and pointed out the trees, bushes and other landscaping. My wife swung through the ladies restroom and came out bragging about how “cute” it was. Curious, I walked into the men’s room, half expecting the acrid stench of ammonia to hit my nostrils. Instead, found a ridiculously clean restroom complete with spacious cedar-lined stalls. While I was washing my hands, an employee came in and sprayed industrial strength deodorant in the air, even though the place already smelled like spring.
The concessions also exceeded my expectations. Unlike some of the theaters in town, there were well over a dozen workers behind the counter, and some of the friendliest cashiers I recall encountering at the movies. Within moments, our arms were ladened with hamburgers, hotdogs, cheesy fries and bottled water - the latter presumably because we were making healthy choices...
We sat at our picnic table in silence, our shoes resting on freshly raked pebbles and our eyes watching the crowd. Instead of screaming kids and parents, the children appeared to be well-behaved and the moms and dads relaxed. It must have been the wilderness air, because when does that happen? My all-beef dog was delicious, and I had loaded down my hamburger with freshly cut veggies, so it was good, too. We returned inside to pick up a funnel cake, some cinnamon pretzels and more water, and then made our way back to our car.
About five minutes before the movie started, a booming voice told us to turn on our radios and let us know they could jump start our car if our battery died.
While you can read my review of “Men in Black 3” on page 30, I was pleased with the presentation. My wife has Bose speakers in her Murano, so the audio was great. Watching the movie through the window wasn’t the best choice, so next time, we’ll be taking camping chairs and backing in.
People have always said good things to me about Wilderness Outdoor Theater, and now I know why - the crew that runs the place has got their act together. The place is clean, well run and has good food to boot. Plus, security patrolled the lot throughout the evening, but this hardly seemed necessary, as everyone seemed to be there to enjoy the show.
My wife and I will be going back - and we’ll be better prepared for our next trip. While I still prefer plush seats and air conditioning, I have a feeling we’re going to be enjoying the Wilderness for many movies to come.
Email David Laprad @ dlaprad@hamiltoncountyherald.com.