Having watched the Chattanooga premiere of the documentary, “Bully,” I can only imagine the grief a parent must endure having lost a child in this horrific manner. David and Tina Long are heroic in my opinion for being courageous enough to share their story in such a public manner. Unfortunately, this scenario is not unique to Murray County, for similar incidents are replayed in every community throughout this country.
Following the premiere, David Long made closing remarks at a community forum that included city leaders, educators, concerned citizens, parents and students. He stated, “I hope ten years from now, we are not still just talking about bullying, but that we’ve taken action to stop it.” We as a community agree: We despise bullying! But this message becomes extremely blurred when we subtly reinforce this anti-social behavior by passively watching it on television, listening to it in music, modeling it in our homes and even laughing as we see it in cartoons. When so many messages contradict respect for one another, how will our kids learn the appropriate ways to interact with each other?
The most recent Youth Risky Behavior Survey indicated that 18 percent of Hamilton County high school students stated they had been subjected to bullying behaviors. In speaking with several groups of youth, many stated, “Yes, we see it, but more so on social networking sites than in schools.” The student comments are consistent with the survey results indicating that 15 percent have been bullied on such sites – sites that are blocked on the schools’ Internet servers.
Because we know bullying takes place on school campuses, the Hamilton County Department of Education has undertaken an aggressive campaign to combat it. Students Taking A Right Stand (STARS) – Chattanooga is a crucial partner in this campaign. But this is not a battle that should be fought solely by school personnel.
Technological advances in recent years have exploded. Social interaction through electronic means has skyrocketed. Face to face communication has become secondary to texting, tweeting, posting a message on a social networking site, etc. Yes, our youth love technology, but they are starving for nurturing relationships, and many find them in unhealthy ways.
As a society, we desperately need to cultivate this precious human resource. If we are not careful, we could create a generation that lacks the skills in humanistic relationship development. As healthy interactions are minimized in a technological crazed society, bullying behaviors will increase.
Though it might be easy to “point the finger,” each of us bears some responsibility in creating the problem. It’s time to slow down and reestablish those relationships – to get off the social networking sites, suspend the text messages, and cultivate friendships the old fashioned way: through face-to-face conversations and person-to-person telephone calls. We should be reminded of the importance of making eye contact and offering quick clarification for a misunderstanding before it escalates to a more serious issue.
Parents, educators, and community leaders: Let’s start today and commit to wholesome dialogue with our children, students and youth. Let’s get back to the basics and foster those interactions that will tear down the racial, cultural and gender barriers. Our youth need us, and we definitely need them. Let’s show them what human kindness and mutual respect look like.
David and Tina Long have challenged us to be the change agents. Let’s accept the challenge and work with our schools and in our communities to be part of the solution so that Tyler Long’s death is not in vain. Ten years from now, we hope David and Tina Long will be proud to know we heard their plea and responded by not allowing technological advances to overshadow the humane aspect of personal interaction.