Editorial
Front Page - Friday, May 21, 2010
I Swear...
A ring and her own VCR
Vic Fleming
With my son’s wedding coming up next month, I found myself looking through some old columns to reprint, so that I won’t have to worry about deadlines when I leave town for awhile.
Lo and behold! I came upon the following, from about six years ago:
What is the proper age
to get married?
That was the question put to some young expert wannabes.
“Eighty-four,” said eight year-old Judy, “because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.”
Five year-old Tom weighed in with a different opinion: “Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.”
The following, as well as the above, are, reportedly, on love, as found in dialogue with kids between 5 and 10 years of age.
What do most people do
on a date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 9)
When is it ok
to kiss someone?
“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ‘cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)
“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)
Is it better to be single
or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)
Why does love happen between two particular people?
“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)
“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)
On what falling in love is like:
“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)
On the role of good looks
in love:
“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)
“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me, I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)
“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)
Concerning why lovers
often hold hands:
“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” (Dave, 8)
Confidential opinions
about love:
“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ is on.” (Anita, 6)
“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was 5, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8)
“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)
Vic Fleming is a district court judge in Little Rock, where he also teaches at the William H. Bowen School of Law. Contact him at vicfleming@att.net.
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