Editorial
Front Page - Friday, May 14, 2010
I Swear...
Revisiting the violated speeding statue
Vic Fleming
With low budget humor columns, you get what you pay for. Such as compilations put together by former traffic clerks.
Thanks to one of my former clerks, Suzie Henderson, I have a list of written and verbal communications that actually took place in my courtroom over a period of years.
A few years ago, I took several of the items from that list and put them into essay form.
It was a popular column. I think I’ll dig it out and reprint it today:
Someone filed an affidata charging another person with leaving the scenery of an accident.
The defendant claims that he was bed-risen and unable to attend court, but thought that he had only been charged with carless driving, not wreckless driving.
For a short while after the accident, he was comatoast.
This was not an excuse, as his failure to occur on his court date was actually due to constricting information.
Another person said that her speeding was due to the velocity of the hill, where she was driving down the decline.
With her was her husband, who is dimensional, but before becoming that way he taught her about intensive driving, and she was indeed trying to void other bad drivers on the road.
She might like to plead no content, but first wanted to know the quaterias for the civil rights act or whether she’s liable for probation.
Yet another interested party, charged with erotic driving, wrote that he was a bit disgruntled because ever-dently, some old charges were never properly sponged off his record.
He was really concerned about that charge from last year of failing to operate a traffic sign, which he received after a little fender bumper.
He suspects the moving violation was left on his record because he also was guilty of having fake-titious tags on his car at the time, although the true registeration papers were in the glove department.
Another remembered that she was driving on the upcline when she got pulled over and ticketed for incoherent driving.
Her insurance policy was either collapsed or overlapsed, and her driver’s license were expended for a re-admission fee that she had not paid.
And then there was the fellow who was held incusdy, because of the legaltaties of a straining order that came about when he was charged with lottery near his ex-wife’s home and she accused him of chalking her.
He felt that the entire matter should have been squashed, that the ex-wife should have been charged with public detox, and that the judge in the case should have recruised hisself at the plea and arrangement hearing.
But, as often happens, his car was toaded to the pound and he was charged with violating the speeding statue, which he couldn’t help because he had a broken speed thermometer.
It got busted when someone hit-and-runned his car awhile back on a two-way street going south.
Vic Fleming is a district court judge in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he also teaches at
the William H. Bowen School of Law. Contact him at vicfleming@att.net.
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