Editorial

My husband and I had the opportunity to go out to eat for his lunch the other days sans children. This is a rarity, and we always enjoy the 45 minutes we are limited to thoroughly. We had eaten our delicious lunch, paid the tab, and were walking out the door. As I am a mother to three children, I inadvertently always notice children; however, in the short distance we walked to get to the door, there were five children – or should I say toddlers – with their heads shoved inside of an iPhone or iPad. That truly disturbed me. You see, we are those parents that do not use an iPhone, tablet, television, or any technology for babysitting purposes. I still constantly encourage my children to play outside or use their imagination. For them to get to play on a tablet or phone is like the best treat ever. This treat usually comes from their grandmother at that. I’m the only one out of our closest friends and family who hasn’t succumbed to this.

One of my closest friends daughter is typically at my home on a daily basis. Her and my daughter became friends in kindergarten, and her mom was my age, so it worked out perfect. In our home, she feels like another child of mine. The other day, we were having a conversation before her mom came to my house to pick her up. I asked her what she was going to do that day since it was beautiful outside …

Maggie (name changed): “Probably just sit inside.”

Me: “Baby, why would you not go outside and play?”

Maggie: “I can’t go outside by myself.”

Me: “Will momma not go outside with you?”

Maggie: “Mom only wants to play on her Kindle, phone

or TV.”

This was so upsetting to me it was saddening, although I didn’t expect her to answer any different because she’d never even been to a park until the age of six, when we took her with our family. I love her mother more than words can speak, but to me the best thing you can do for your children is give them TIME. This is not reference to time in front of technology but your time: time outside, time baking, time playing cars, time playing Barbie, time making tents, time showing them responsibility, or any time besides time involving technology. Parents are so busy in their own worlds, usually on technology, that there’s no longer time for their children. To this day, I’ve never had a Facebook page or anything else of that nature. Truth be told, I bought my first smartphone last week for work. Yes, I’ve finally come into the 21st century, as my brother told me.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand some of the technology can be great for learning purposes, but many parents use it as their only way to teach their children. Last time I checked, children can still learn to read, write, color, and do everything else the old school way. Flashcards are heaven sent! I heard of one parent stating that it was time to stop fighting with the child over it and accept that it’s part of their environment. I was truly astonished. You see, my husband and I make the rules and set the boundaries. We don’t throw our hands up in the air and say, “Oh well. Everyone else their age has one!” One of the basic things behind parenting is that children are immature and irresponsible, and they learn how to be mature and responsible through you.

According to a 2010 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, the average child between the ages of 8-18 “now spends practically every waking minute – even in school – using a smart phone, computer, tablet, television or other electronic device,” and because they multitask by using other sources while listening to music, they manage to cram in more like 11 hours.  Dr. Gary Small, director of the UCLA Memory and Aging Research Center, studies how children’s brains are developing differently today than they did when we were kids – specifically their frontal lobe. He says, “As young, malleable brains develop shortcuts to access information, these shortcuts represent new neural pathways being laid down.” As a result, therapists and clinicians are seeing an increase in attachment disorders, depression, anxiety, bipolar, OCD, and ADHD – all of which have been directly related to technology use. Let’s not completely bypass learning how to effectively communicate, much less make eye contact. It’s important for parents, teachers, and other role models to come together and realize the devastating effects this is having on our children physically, psychologically, and mentally. Nobody can deny the greatness of technology today, but with it comes us losing sight of our most important tool for tomorrow – children. Really, the technology problem is epic, and unfortunately, I feel as if it’s just starting. I’m not saying that you’re a bad parent for allowing technology – I allow technology, but I also turn the television off when I feel time is up, and I don’t think twice about the fit my child will throw (which is rare). That is when I get my child and redirect them to a different adventure to make their imagination run wild.

My husband and I were at the park today with four children. I had the three girls playing in the sand, and he had my son going down the slide.  I looked around at the hundreds of parents (it’s a huge park) and noticed maybe three percent of them actually playing with their children, as I was. Most of them were on their phones. I looked over to my left and found my husband going down the awesome slide with my son, and walked over to him to let him know this is the best thing we can do for our children. He proceeded to ask me what I was talking about, and my one word answer was “time.” I followed that up with an “I love you” and jumped back into the sand.

Sources: www.mashable.com