You presume to name those who have no name. We are pandemonium and disaster. We are the dancing, gibbering horror of the world.”
~ Brenna Yovanoff, The Replacement
The following is true and no names have been changed because no one is innocent.
It was Spring Break and I had planned a weeklong trip to Disney World. While away, I asked a (former) close friend of mine named Fred if he would like to do some house sitting. He agreed. This was going to work out great I thought, as Fred was a bachelor a few years older than me whose best partying days were surely behind him.
So as our plane flew over the cold mountains of northwest Arkansas on its way to the Sunshine State, I relaxed, knowing I had left my beautiful home and my black cat named Fritz in good hands.
Now before I go any further there is something you should probably know about Fred. Things have a way of happening to him. They just do – even when it’s not his fault. So I guess that as our Space Mountain bound jet crested above the clouds and I looked over at my lovely wife and wonderful children, a little voice from somewhere far away inside my head could faintly be heard, saying – “Go back you idiot.”
Fred had at the time a lovely young woman of around 21 or 22 who worked for him. She still lived at home with her very over-protective parents. Her father is a minister. Never having much opportunity to spread her wings, the girl’s hopes soared when she heard that Fred would be house sitting for me. Fred claims that she was relentless in her pleas to use the house for just one night. She said that she and her cousin would be the only ones there. They would watch a movie and turn in early. She just had to get away from her parents, if only for a night.
And so, old softhearted Fred, who thought that house sitting meant giving up the keys to the first pretty face that comes along, did just that.
The next day when he showed up at work, there was the girl. He asked her if everything had gone all right and she said yes. Then he asked her for the keys and she again begged for just one more night. This time, Fred claimed, he was a rock. No, no, a thousand times no he told her. But she must have asked him a thousand and one.
The next day when Fred came into the office the girl was not there. When nine o’clock rolled around he was pretty concerned and began calling the house. No answer. Finally at ten he decided to drive over and check it out. It was a rainy, cold day, and when he pulled up in front of the house it was pouring. His initial reaction when looking at the house was relief, because it was still there. The girl’s car was parked in the circular driveway. Then he noticed an odd thing - the front door was wide open.
He ran from his car to the entrance but stopped before going in because he saw another oddity. Our black cat, Fritz, was near the front door under a bush, and soaked to the bone. Fred’s detective mind wondered why a cat would rather stay outside in a cold rain than move into his own warm home. This chilled Fred a little. Nevertheless he moved ahead.
To be continued.