Jerry Seinfeld. Jeff Foxworthy. Ron White. Bob Saget. Brett Butler. Paula Poundstone.
Those are just a few of the comedians who have brought their standup act to The Comedy Catch since the club opened in Chattanooga in 1985. Local favorites like Etta May, James Gregory, Tim Wilson and others have also performed at the establishment.
But 25 years of laughs could come to an end if the city council passes a sprinkler ordinance that would require all nightclubs in Chattanooga to install a sprinkler system or be shut down, says owner Michael Alfano.
What has Alfano and other local business owners sweating buckets is the cost of installing the systems.
“I’d have to put in a water retention tank to hold the water. Plus, there’s not enough water pressure from the city, so I’d have to get a special valve to actually push the water to the sprinklers, and pay the water company $1,000 a year to use the valve. Then it’s anywhere from $10 to $15 per square foot for the sprinklers. I have 10,000 square feet, so I’m looking at $100,000,” he says.
Alfano says the down economy, competition from free entertainment and the 2010 property tax increase have already placed a heavy financial strain on The Comedy Catch, Chattanooga’s only full-time comedy club. The sprinkler ordinance could be the straw that breaks its back.
“My gut reaction is I couldn’t do it. I’d go out of business. It would kill us,” Alfano says.
Nightclub safety has been on the minds of a lot of city councils since 2003, when 96 people died in a club fire in Rhode Island. Alfano calls that tragedy “a perfect storm of things gone wrong” and says he believes neglect and corruption were factors as well. But he says the council is going too far in targeting his establishment and other businesses in Chattanooga for regulation, since he doesn’t think The Comedy Catch is a nightclub.
“Until January of this year, everyone who served alcohol was considered a restaurant because you had to serve 50 percent food and 50 percent alcohol to get an alcohol license. A lot of nightclubs weren’t doing that, so the city council decided to get a grip on the situation and define what it considers to be a nightclub. And that would be any establishment that has more than 100 seats; that offers entertainment of some sort, including live or recorded music or video; and that’s open later than 11 p.m.,” Alfano says.
Alfano says the rule inexplicably includes certain businesses while leaving others out.
“It excludes all restaurants, which we think is unfair because you’re just as likely to have a fire in a restaurant as you are a nightclub.”
Alfano says he is concerned about the safety of his patrons at The Comedy Catch and has complied with all of the rules that were in place in 2000, when he made the latest additions to his Brainerd Road establishment.
“Our kitchen has an ANSUL dry system that kicks on automatically, since that’s where a fire would start. We also have fire extinguishers everywhere the fire marshal made us put them, clearly marked exits with a clean egress, and smoke and heat detectors,” he says.
Although the situation is of grave concern for many local businesses, Alfano and his peers can breathe easy for at least two months, as the city council has set aside that time to calculate how much tax revenue the city would lose due to businesses closing their doors as a result of the sprinkler ordinance. Alfano has hired a lawyer to make sure the council sees the numbers from his perspective.
Alfano feels good about his chances of fighting off the sprinkler ordinance because of the way it singles out some businesses and leaves others alone, putting those in the crosshairs of the proposed law at a financial disadvantage.
He’s also encouraged by the fact that he’d have three years to come up with a plan to comply with the new regulation, should the city council pass it into law. Either way, he says he has too much invested in The Comedy Catch to let it go down in smoke without a battle.
“I’ve owned this business for 23 years. It’s a family business. My mother works here, my children work here, and my ex-wife and I work here. Do I just give up? No. I have several plans in mind, one of which is to appeal. I could also hire a lawyer and sue the city for the money. A third option would be to put a one or two dollar city mandate sprinkler fee on our tickets, which I don’t want to do.
“Clearly, I have too much blood, sweat and tears invested in this place to just give up. Like Tim Wilson, a good friend of mine, says, ‘I’m just trying to raise two kids.’”