A friend recently posted a picture on Facebook where she poked fun at herself for wearing entirely different shoes to work. When she realized that she had done so, she laughed and showed everyone.
During the cowboy boot craze of the ’80s, I did likewise, noticing that I had a shark skin boot on my left and bullhide leather on my right. I was relatively new at a newspaper in another state, and when I realized what I’d done, I immediately made an excuse for going back to my house to retrieve something.
I once interviewed a woman for an office manager’s post that was wearing sweat pants and flashing tennis shoes like a young child would wear. I don’t even remember what I asked and what she answered during the interview, only that I strained mightily not to laugh.
Years in management positions allowed me to see just about everything during the interview process. I had one guy explain to me that he had been miserable at his previous jobs, pointing out how his boss was always telling him what to do. I guess the guy was eventually hired, just not by me.
A piece of advice to new employees, regardless of their new job, would be to wait until you are settled in at your new workplace before settling in. I hired an office manager once, and by the end of the first day she had brought basically a greenhouse to the office, making it difficult to even find the desk due to all of the large – very large – plants that she decided needed to adorn the front lobby.
Sometimes you find a gem during the interview process. Sometimes you find a Ray Goff. The University of Georgia hired Goff in 1989. Then-Duke head coach Steve Spurrier said that he would have jumped at the chance to coach Georgia had he been offered the post, but the UGA brass chose Goff, who averaged just over seven wins a year over his seven-year reign in Athens, which produced zero championships. Spurrier was hired the next season at his alma mater – Florida – where he would win six SEC titles and a national championship in his 12 years in Gainesville, averaging more than 10 wins per season.
The last decade or so has given us our share of resume bloopers… or lies… with everyone to politicians’ military backgrounds and coaches’ athletic careers. I had some classics turned in for job openings in the past, too, but none like the following that one Web site has compiled:
“Hobbies: “Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
“Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
Hobbies: “Getting drunk every night down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
Why Interested in Position: “To keep my parole officer from putting me back in jail”
One lady misspelled the word proofreading in her skill set.
Another woman wrote her name “Alice” in some places and “Alyce” in others.
A resume was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
Skills: “I am great with the pubic.”
Objective: “Career on the Information Supper Highway”
One candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
Marital status: “Often.” Children: “Various.”
Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”
Skills: “Has demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
Skills: “Ability to do the moonwalk.”
Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
Skills: “Being bi-lingual in three languages.”
Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
How large was the last company you worked for: “Three stories.”
Emergency contact number: “911.”
According to Business Insider, fishers and related fishing workers is the most dangerous job in America. It also has a median hourly wage of just $12.30. There were 29 fatalities in that field in 2010. Logging is the second-most dangerous. “CNN Money” lists Software Architect as the best job when considering pay, satisfaction and growth opportunities.