Editorial
Front Page - Friday, February 5, 2010
Under Analysis
The lawyer’s ultimate fear: Being late and unprepared
Michelle St. Germain
One day, I was late to court and the hearings had already begun. Worse, I was in a county courthouse I had never been in. I didn’t know what was going on – had my case been called yet? Where was the docket sheet with the list of today’s cases to be heard? To whom can I ask these questions without looking like an idiot?
In the courtroom, there was a mass of people that were obviously defendants – criminal defendants in prison garb – barricaded by a chain. A bailiff or sheriff – I couldn’t tell which – was guarding the chain. The tension in the air between the defendants and the rest of the room was palpable. But, I needed to get beyond that chain. I had to talk to my client.
I approached the man guarding the chain and began to explain my problem, only to be firmly rebuffed. He told me that I could not talk to any of the defendants. I was too late – court had started. I pleaded with him, but he explained that I would have to get permission from the judge. I felt, looking at the judge, that “bending the rules” for me, the outsider who is obviously not prepared, was unlikely. This was a horrible problem. My client was being sentenced that day and – here’s the real problem – I had not even met him before. I sat with the other lawyers as the tension in me grew. I had to find a way to talk to my client. It was nearly impossible to do so without it being terribly obvious, and I didn’t want to break what appeared to be a pretty strict local custom or rule. I also didn’t want to ask the judge to talk to my client and ostensibly admit that I was not fully prepared prior to the sentencing of my client.
Finally, there was a moment where the judge was between cases and I decided to take a shot. I approached her and explained that I only wanted to say hello to my client.
Her eyebrows raised in disbelief. It was obvious I was going to have to try harder, but I was embarrassed by the fact that I was essentially asking for an exception since I was so unprepared. I tried to explain that I needed to say hello to my client because although my firm represented him, I had never personally met him and on such a significant day, I thought it was important that he meet me.
The judge still did not seem especially swayed. At this point, the court was beginning to quiet, and my forehead was forming beads of sweat.
“Your honor,” I pleaded, “the fact of the matter is, that I truly need to talk to my client because I have no idea what he looks like or what his name is.”
The truth had been blurted out. Luckily, the judge laughed. Maybe she had been in my position before. She told me to talk to the sheriff guarding the chain. Then I had to explain to the sheriff that I needed help figuring out which one my client was.
I then had to go through the 100-page docket looking for my firm’s name to figure out who I was representing. Finally, I found him – and the sheriff pointed him out to me. I introduced myself to my client, and then hesitated. I needed to know everything about his case – but didn’t quite want to let him onto that. I was going to have to investigate this one carefully.
But at that very moment, my case was called. My client and I approached the bench together. I was trying to think of a way to fake an emergency when my client leaned over and smiled at me.
“You’re gonna get me outta this, right?” He asked.
“Yeah, I whispered, and started to listen to the charges being read.
“Murder in the first degree, aggravated. Cannibalism. Twenty-five counts of securities fraud. Trafficking heroin . . .”
Then, I looked down and realized I was naked.
When I woke up screaming from this dream, I was relieved. I was soaked in sweat, but I realized something. It had been a while, but I used to have a similar dream in which I was late to a final exam and realized, as I frantically looked for the right room, that I’d not even attended the class all year long. Ahh, the dreams of a silly law student.
I’m glad to see that my subconscious is keeping up to my life changes, complete with its creatively new breed of nightmares.
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