The other day, I was listening to NPR while driving back from court. The topic was Alzheimer’s disease. They interviewed a man with the disease. He was talking about waking up most days and having little or no memory of his past. He made one statement that really caught my attention. He said that even though he couldn’t remember his past, the lack of memory didn’t affect the person he was. This got me to thinking: Do your memories shape you?
It reminded me of a late ‘80s movie starring Harrison Ford and Annette Benning: “Regarding Henry.” The premise of the movie is that a tough and ruthless lawyer at a top firm is shot in the head and is in a coma for an extended period of time. He awakens and cannot remember his life or the people in it. The movie deals with the trials and tribulations he and those around him go through, realizing he’s not the person he was before the coma. Without question, he acts like a different person. Without his memories and preconceptions, he’s a more caring and honest person.
It’s hard to see how memories do not have at least some say in the person you are from day to day. The memories and experiences of your life have a huge role in determining how you view the world. Your memories shape your fears. They form a basis for many of your likes and dislikes. The way you remember people and events shapes the way you think about them and the way you react to the world.
On the other hand, maybe saying memories are a lot like a pair of glasses is more accurate. The memories themselves do not change who you are. They simply change the way you view the world. The view is what changes the way a person acts and responds to things, not the memories.
I can’t imagine the void that would exist if I were unable to remember the past. But, without memories, how clear would your view of the world really be? The idea of looking at the world like a baby without the power of object permanence might be a little naive. However, I do think the idea of cleaning the glasses with which we view the world on a regular basis could definitely be a good thing. Even more important than cleaning the glasses might be recognizing that our memories skew our perceptions, and that always needs to be factored in when deciding how to respond to the various stimuli we come into contact with in our daily lives.
Just as everyone is different, so is the effect that memories have on each individual. No one is immune to the effect of memories, but we all have the power to control the person we are on a daily basis. Admittedly, some of us have more ability than others to regulate the power that memories have on our lives, but ultimately, who you are is a function of self.
Like everything, memories have their place. Used correctly, they can be a great benefit. Used improperly, they can hamper your ability to show the world your true self. While all memories have their place, some memories simply belong buried in the past. That’s true for everyone, especially those of us way up in the CHEAP SEATS!
Bill James is a co-founder of the James Law Firm with offices in Little Rock, Conway and Fayetteville, Arkansas. His primary area of practice is criminal defense. He can be contacted at Bill@JamesFirm.com