I read someone’s ranking at “The Week” of the ten best Turkey Day dishes.
Coming in at number ten was the big bird itself – turkey. As they put it, “We eat turkey at Thanksgiving not because it’s the tastiest poultry or the easiest to cook, but because the bird’s large size allows us to feed many hungry people all at the same time.” I hate to agree with this sacrilege, but I kind of do. Unless you’re “The Old Man” from “A Christmas Story,” you probably agree a little, too.
But what if you didn’t have it anymore? Ralphie put it best after the Bumpass dogs did their damage - “The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!”
9. Corn bread. “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that rolls are an OK carbohydrate substitute. Don’t be fooled.”
8. Green bean casserole. I never saw the big deal with this one, and don’t remember having it until I started dating Kathy back in 1975 and came across it in the long line of delectable delights in her mom’s kitchen. That also was the first place I ran across cherry pie. At Kathy’s mom’s house in those days, you couldn’t take too long to think about what you were putting on your plate, or the other 50 or 60 family members would run over you.
7. Mac and cheese. My mom made a great homemade macaroni and cheese. Been awhile since I’ve had any as good.
6. Mashed potatoes. I was never as big a fan as my little brother, and without gravy, these should never even make the countertop. (Update: Amy here at the Hamilton County Herald has changed forever my opinion of the mashed potato. Hers has sour cream, chives, bacon bits, and lots of garlic – whatever you do, don’t screw up Amy’s spudly ambrosia with gravy.)
5. Ham – All hail the Honeybaked Spiral Cut! Ours at work went very well this year with Amy’s taters.
4. Sweet potatoes with marshmallows. Not a fan at all. And if you have to cover something in marshmallows, that ought to be a clue to save room on your dwindling prime plate space for something better. The guy at “The Week” did go on to say that sweet potatoes are packed with Vitamin A, B6, and fiber. But on TG, I’m more concerned with flavor than living a healthy lifestyle.
3. Gravy – Ahhhhhh, gravy. Without it, the world would have a serious turkey population explosion problem.
From “The Week” - The gravy boat is the most sought-after dish on the Thanksgiving table.”
2. Stuffing. We call it dressing at our house because nothing is stuffed with it except all those human tummies at the end of the day. My mom had the best dressing recipe in the universe. It starts with cornbread, but only Kathy knows the rest, thank God. She knows I can never leave her as long as she can keep cooking this late November delicacy.
So how could anything come in ahead of dressing? Well, in my mind it couldn’t. But at “The Week,” they don’t agree. Therefore, I give you their numero uno Thanksgiving dish – pie.
This year we had three – pecan, pumpkin and cherry. The pecan, from Community Bakery, was the best I’ve had. Oh, excuse me, as my buddy Christian at UALR reminded me - that would be karo nut.
Bon appetit!