Editorial

I don’t profess to be a relationship guru. Truth be told, I still occasionally need help in figuring out a dilemma. It seems that during the holiday season from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, tempers, stress, and disagreements between couples soar.

Also, in today’s world of reality TV, Internet, and Facebook, it can be difficult for newly wed couples to keep “what is real” on track. Below is some information I found from livestrong.com and Helpguide.org that offers some fairly sound advice.

A relationship is an investment that will build as you continue to devote time and effort. The more that is put in, the more that will be given back. In addition to commitment and a willingness to adapt and change throughout life, healthy relationships require skills in communication and emotional awareness.

The 10 signs of a healthy relationship are:

Trust

Trust is an essential element for all relationships. Each partner should have faith in the other. You should not have to wonder if your mate is telling the truth.

Respect

According to "Teens Health," strong relationships must include mutual respect. Your better half should never put you down, mock you or make degrading remarks about you. When you are loved and appreciated for who you are, he/she will show respect for you.

Communication

Communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center advises couples to set aside time to regularly check in with each other, so they can deal with any issues before they blow up or become unmanageable.

Flexibility

Life is constantly changing, and healthy relationships recognize that fact. Couples need to be flexible to adapt to changes in each other’s work, home and family lives.

Shared interests

Sharing interests allows bonding and enjoyment in spending free time together. Many couples share a love of sports, movies, pets, cooking, fashion, travel, reading, or art. Having at least one activity you enjoy doing together will bring you closer and offer a way to de-stress and reconnect during hard times.

Alone time

Just as spending time together strengthens your relationship, having time apart is important as well. Couples need to remember that they had separate lives before falling in love, and maintaining separate interests gives each person breathing room. Both partners should have some regular alone time to enjoy individual interests and recharge.

Friends and family

Healthy relationships include strong connections with friends and family. Although the beginning stages of falling in love can be intense and make you want to see no one but your sweetheart, it’s important to maintain your relationships with other people you care about with regular visits, outings and get-togethers. Strong relationships gain power from outside connections, keeping the relationship exciting and dynamic.

Compromise

Compromise is necessary in any relationship, whether you’re at work or with your spouse. Both partners must be willing to make concessions to reach the common good.

Arguing fairly

There comes a time in every relationship where arguments arise, and it’s important that you both fight fair, expressing your own opinion yet also listening to the other person’s viewpoint. Techniques such as taking time to cool off, writing feelings in a journal and talking to a relationship therapist are all healthy ways to deal with emotional arguments.

Appreciation

It is important for each person to feel appreciated in a relationship. Problems can arise when you or your partner feel unappreciated and taken for granted. Praise and compliments are ways to show you care.