The lone hurdle to complete agreement in the world is point of view. We would all agree on everything if we weren’t all looking at the world from our own perspective. No two people look at the world from the same point of view. Each person is different than every other person in uncountable ways. No matter how close one person is to another, there will still be a plethora of ways these people are not exactly the same. They may come to the same decision, but they still come to the decision from a perspective that can not be replicated.
Even identical twins are not the same. They came out of the womb in different order, and have grown up looking at things from the perspective of youngest or oldest regardless of the slight differential in their official ages. No matter how much they have encountered together, they still have had independent experiences such as relationships and physical injuries experienced by one but not the other. The list goes on and on.
There’s no question that there are a lot of common denominators between people that think the same. Folks that think the same are often similarly situated and have had many of the same experiences. Their interests often overlap and are largely indistinguishable. But no matter how similar they are to each other, they still came from different places and look at the world just a little differently. We tend to agree with the folks that are most like us and vice versa.
The preceding “perspective” diatribe is based more on my life experiences than actual reference material. That being said, I believe it to be true. I also think if people spent a little more time looking at things from the other person’s perspective, we’d have more agreement in the world.
This, of course, is not anything you don’t already know. It’s an idea that’s as old as the idea of walking in another man’s shoes. You always make better bets when you know what cards your opponents are holding. The real question is “if we all know this to be true, why don’t we do more of it?” The simple lessons are often the ones that are forgotten first.
After you take a look behind the curtain to see where the other side is coming from, maybe you can consider some middle ground where you give a little and the other side gives a little. The end result could leave both of you better off than before. I think you call that a “win/win.” This is another simple truth that’s been around forever and serves as more proof that the secrets of getting along and coming to agreement are not complicated.
“Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men” is a lofty goal, but a fitting goal for this time of year. Open your eyes to the perspective of others this holiday season, and you’ll find a world with a much clearer meaning. That’s good for everybody, especially those of us way up in the CHEAP SEATS!
Bill James is a co-founder of the James Law Firm with offices in Little Rock, Conway and Fayetteville, Ark. He likes to shop on Christmas Eve, and he’s not a very good gift wrapper. He can be contacted at Bill@JamesFirm.com.