KM was reading me the “Tell Me About It” piece last week by Washington Post syndicated columnist Carolyn Hax, titled, “‘Best-self’ checklist requires brutally honest answers.”
Hax suggested to her reader that she answer some questions as honestly as possible – brutally honest in fact. I told KM I would take the test if I could get back to Sports when we finished. Here are my answers. Not sure yet if I passed or not.
Are you doing things that are meaningful to you; well-suited to your interests, skills and talents; and challenging enough to keep you humble? I recently climbed Pinnacle, which was very humbling. But now I like bragging about it, mainly on Facebook, to my 167 friends I barely know.
Are you with people to whom you want to be kind; who reinforce your good choices; and who don’t inspire persistent doubts about whether they’re dependable, genuinely fond of you, free of ulterior motives, or honest with you? People seem genuinely fond of me and say I make good comments.
Are you that person to those you love? Sorry, what person are we talking about again?
Do you take responsibility for your choices and their consequences? If the consequences are good, I do; if not so good, then I act like Ralphie in “A Christmas Story,” when the teacher asks if anyone has seen Flick.
Do you honor your promises and commitments to yourself and others? Yes, I promise.
When you are impressed by, grateful to, or concerned about someone, do you show it? Do you forgive? Are you representing yourself honestly, to yourself and others, creating no facades to maintain? Yes, no, yes…no…God, this is confusing!
Do you take care of yourself — in small ways like flossing, and in big ways like thinking through potential consequences before you act? Flossing? Really? I prefer toothpicks anyway.
Are you mindful of your flaws and demons? My flaws can wait. As for my demons, here are a few I have the most problems with: Belphegor, the demon of Ingenious Discoveries and Wealth. He has not visited me as of yet. Dagon, the Baker of Hell. Who knew that Hell had its own baker? But I guess they gotta eat, too. Eurynomus, a Prince of Hell who likes to feed on the dead. I guess he hasn’t met Dagon the baker yet. And here’s a gal who needs floss: Hecate, queen of the witches. Only because she puts little girls in paintings and they move around and grow older (from the movie “Witches”).
Do you resist the impulse to blame others when things go wrong?
No, I try to blame others at every opportunity. That Hell baker makes me do it.
Do you understand the boundary between your business and the business of others, and do you stay on your side? We have cubicles here at the paper, so the boundaries are pretty clear.
When you’re unsure, do you admit that and seek help? Not sure.
When you’re about to express negativity or a criticism, do you ask yourself whether it needs expressing? And imagine how its target will feel? No, that just confuses the issue. I always say, if you must be negative, then do so forcefully and with purpose.
When you fall short, do you admit that? Please, those demons would tear me apart.
Since all these questions hinge on solid self-awareness, I’d call Step 1 a brutally honest assessment of what you bring to the party — and how you’re most likely to wreck it. KM usually makes me take a bottle of wine to the party. I guess it would be wrecked if I dropped it on the hostesses white carpet.