It’s no secret that I love National Public Radio. I typically listen on my Sunday morning drive to the Levison Towers, and have been known to sit in my car for several minutes after arriving at my destination just to finish a story.
Garrison Keillor remains one of my favorite storytellers, but my affinity for NPR goes well beyond the popular shows. There’s a great numbers program called “More Or Less” that has made my wee hour drives to the deer stand enjoyable this September.
The mention of NPR causes eyes to roll in certain circles, much the way Fox News rolls them the other way. Some say NPR is biased to the left. I don’t hear editorial slant as much as I appreciate the in-depth coverage NPR provides. Maybe that reveals my bias.
Even non-NPR aficionados find something to like in the Tappet Brothers, Tom and Ray Magliozzi. These two solve car problems each week for listeners around the country. I was saddened to learn that Click and Clack were retiring this year after a mere 35 years on the air. The fact that two MIT grads wound up in a car repair garage is odd. The fact that folks have listened to them for 35 years expecting remote diagnosis of their car problems on the air is even odder.
It’s been some time since I’ve ventured down to Levison Towers mailroom to answer random legal questions. In honor of the Magliozzis however, I asked my friend Stuart Thomas to come over and answer a few letters with me. Here we go.
My heirs keep coming into my house and taking things. Do I need a will?
Spencer: More likely, you need a gun. In order to inherit from someone, an heir must wait for an ancestor to die. You don’t seem dead yet.
Stuart: Although your penmanship leaves some question,
I don’t believe that you are
dead either. If I’m wrong, then please stop writing us. Therefore, your heirs are not inheriting; they’re stealing.
Spencer: Didn’t you “inherit” a Mont Blanc pen from me?
Stuart: That wasn’t stealing. Your door was open and it was on top of your desk. I told you I owed it back to you – and I’d rather die owing you than to cheat you out of the pen.
Spencer: If you’re intent on nonviolence, I would suggest a restraining order rather than a will. Or at least a good padlock.
Can you explain the Rule in Shelley’s Case to me?
Stuart: No. (Laughter)
Spencer: Didn’t you used to date Shelley?
Stuart: That was a long time ago. And I wouldn’t call it dating; we used to ride around in my buggy together.
Spencer: I remember that old buggy. It smelled bad, was unreliable and never went where I wanted.
Stuart: You’re thinking of Shelley.
Spencer: The Rule in Shelley’s Case dates back to 16th century England. I think we covered it in property class the first year law school – which for my friend Stuart was in the 17th century. It is irrelevant now, and its only remaining function is as a punch line in hilarious legal humor.
Stuart: Actually, that sounds like you. Except for the hilarious part. (Laughter)
Spencer: (Laughter) Well, that brings us to today’s puzzle segment. Everyone knows that the CD is 30 years old this year. It replaced the LP, which was also dominant for about 30 years as a music medium. What music medium preceded the LP?
Stuart: The eight-track tape? I used to love those. In fact, there are lots of songs that I sing along and even click in the middle of because I can’t sing the song without the track change.
Spencer: I’ve heard you sing. That click is the best part of your karaoke performance. (Laughter)
Stuart: Hey! I have a beautiful singing voice.
Spencer: Then you must save it for special occasions. I remember being stopped next to another car at a railroad crossing when you were doing your famous rendition of “The Candy Man.” I’ve never seen a convertible top go up faster in clear weather.
Stuart: (Laughter) Well, that brings us to the bottom of the mailbag, which means you’ve wasted another 12.6 minutes reading this column.
Spencer: Except for our readers in Oklahoma. I always write slowly for the folks back home because I know they don’t read fast.
Stuart: So until next time, don’t practice law like my brother.
Spencer: And don’t practice law like my brother.
©2012 under analysis llc. under analysis is a nationally syndicated column of the Levison Group. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. Although it drives the Bar Association crazy when he says it, this and much of what he writes in not legal advice. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this newspaper or directly to the Levison Group via email at comments@levisongroup.com.