My dad would have disapproved if he’d known what I was doing Sunday morning.
When I was a kid, Sundays were for church. Nothing kept us away. My father stayed on task after I left home by asking me to tell him about the most recent sermon I’d heard.
He still asks if I’ve been to church. So, yeah, he would’ve been irked if he’d known I was in line at Brothers Bagel in Hixson waiting to buy an Everything Bagel with a cream cheese schmear.
What can I say? The flesh is weak. Plus, word on the street is likening Brothers Bagels to the Second Coming, so I could have told my dad I’d had a different kind of religious experience Sunday.
Brothers Bagel opened its doors Oct. 13 to ravenous anticipation, if the excitement expressed in the Chattanooga subreddit was an accurate sample of local sentiment. It’s not a chain, like Einstein Bros. Bagels, nor does it include bagels as part of a much larger menu, a la Panera. Rather, it’s a mom-and-pop operation that claims to make the first “Chatt-style” bagels fresh in the shop.
Picture the husband-and-wife duo of Josh and Sara Pratt, the founders and owners of Brothers Bagel, getting up with the sun like the weary gent in the 1984 Dunkin’ Donuts commercial and declaring, “Time to make the bagels.”
Before landing on bagels, the Pratts built a family that includes three boys. They also tried various other businesses ranging from fresh-baked cookies and cinnamon rolls to outdoor play equipment. After they committed themselves to bagels, they supplied the recipes and their sons provided the inspiration for the name.
I was impressed when I overheard Sara’s father, Jim, explaining to another customer the epic lengths to which the family went to develop the best possible bagel recipe. Their extensive research included a road trip that included stops at 18 bagel shops.
I’ll describe the process Brothers Bagel adopted later in this column. First, I want to discuss another key element of the current experience: the wait.
If you’ve ever stood in line for more than an hour to ride a roller coaster, then access that memory; it’ll make my job easier.
While the procession of bagel-craving Chattanoogans outside (yes, outside) of Brothers Bagel wasn’t as long as the parade of thrill seekers I encountered at crowded amusement parks while growing up, it did resemble the jagged lines that used to spill out of movie theaters back when people had to buy tickets to a new blockbuster at the box office.
In fact, I spotted the line before I saw the parking lot as I approached Brothers Bagel on Hixson Drive at 11:20 a.m. As I hiked to the end of the queue, I counted 40 people waiting outside.
Another 20 or so people lie ahead inside. By the end, I’d been in line at Brothers Bagel longer than I’ve waited to be served at any other Chattanooga restaurant.
For one hour and 40 minutes, I inched my way along a time warp that seemed to be stretching seconds into minutes and minutes into hours.
For every moment I stood there, the people I loved were at home, aging exponentially.
I’m exaggerating, of course. And I should note that this was only the second Sunday Brothers Bagel was open for business. That means bagel fever is still at a boiling point in Chattanooga, and that the line will eventually shorten, just like the crowds outside theaters playing the original “Star Wars” ultimately dwindled. (You all remember that, right?)
Also, if you’ll indulge a little math, the staff was averaging well under two minutes per customer, which is quite fast.
To pass the time, I chatted with my fellow wormhole travelers. Eventually, I noticed that several Chattanoogans originally from New York City were stacking the line, including a cardiothoracic surgeon from Brooklyn, a fitness center manager from Queens and others.
As I pondered out loud whether or not the fare at Brothers Bagel could be worth the wait, the Queens native grinned and said, “I came here yesterday thinking the bagels wouldn’t be any good. But I was wrong. They’re awesome, man.”
This stoked my anticipation. Having been married to a food snob from the Bronx, I can say that an endorsement of a bagel shop by a New Yorker is effusive praise.
The gentleman from Brooklyn was a first-timer like me, but he spared none of our many minutes together describing his love for the pizzas, delis and bagels back home. So, by the time the Promised Land – aka the order counter – was within reach, I was famished.
Fortunately, it looked like all of the usual suspects were present and accounted for. Bagels included plain, sesame, poppy, blueberry cinnamon raisin, jalapeño cheddar asiago, everything and gluten-free.
From time to time, patrons will find other bagels in the mix, including French toast, rosemary, sea salt, garlic, egg, pumpernickel, pretzel and more.
I was a little nonplussed with the selections of schmear, though, which lacked the same variety. Cream cheese, butter, nut butter and jam were on the menu, as were mixed cream cheese, mixed butters and vegan spread. But where was sundried tomato, roasted garlic, veggie cream cheese and other common flavors?
The couple ahead of me barely noticed, as they were wrapped up in choosing the ingredients for a Sammy, a breakfast sandwich that can include any of a variety of breads, proteins, cheeses and toppings.
Several other sandwiches for breakfast and lunch populate the menu at Brothers Bagel, including the Nova lox, a surefire hit that comes with smoked salmon, tomato, red onion, capers, dill and scallion cream cheese.
In retrospect, I should have ordered the Nova lox, as its savory flavors are tempting me even now to return, but I’d come to try an Everything with cream cheese – a bagel shop staple – so that’s what I ordered.
And, well, it was good. A cut above, if you will. The crust crackled when I bit into it, the bread was dense and chewy, and the bagel overall tasted fresh. The cream cheese was delicious, too.
Was it 100-minutes-in-line delicious? In this week’s cover story, UTC economics professor Dr. Claudia Williamson Kramer says everyone has a cost-benefit analysis that’s based on their personal wants and needs. That applies here.
While I wouldn’t wait that long again, I’ll definitely try the Nova lox after the lines diminish. (In case my dad reads this, I’ll insert here that I’ll go on a Saturday.) The fellow from Queens, however, did a little jig after biting into his jalapeño cheddar asiago bagel, which he’d filled with the ingredients of a club sandwich.
As the heart surgeon was leaving, he asked Sara’s father how they make the bagels. Jim said they steam the bagels rather than boil them. Although the Brooklyn native expressed skepticism, as New York bagels are boiled, Josh and Sara chose this process after exhaustive deliberation.
So there you have it: the Chatt-style bagel is steamed, not boiled. And like I said, it’s good. A cut above, if you will.
Brothers Bagel is open Wednesday-Sunday, 6 a.m.-2 p.m., at 3805 Hixson Pike. Catering and online ordering are available. Learn more at brothersbagel.com.