My wife assures me “Joyful Noise” is a wonderful movie. She laughed, clapped and wants to own it on DVD. I’m glad she had a good time. I did not like it. I thought it was contrived, silly and riddled with clichés. I was so glad when it was over, I nearly made a joyful noise of my own.
The story: Divinity Church of Pacashau, Ga., has a choir that regularly reaches the regional level in the National Joyful Noise Competition. The singers never make it to the finals because one particular choir beats them every year. Dolly Parton plays G.G. Sparrow, the rich maven of the church who wants to shake up things in the hopes of winning. However, the newly appointed choir director, Vi Rose Hill, played by Queen Latifah, wants to stick to their traditional songs. For reasons never explained, these women do not get along.
The central thrust of the story is whether or not the choir will make it to the finals and win. Writer and director Todd Graff must have thought that would not be enough to fill two hours, so he padded the movie with more subplots than “The Young and the Restless.” There’s Vi’s son, Dexter, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, and hates God for making him that way; there’s Vi’s 16-year-old daughter, Keke, who’s weary of her mom’s prim and proper ways; there’s G.G.’s rebellious grandson, Jeremy, who was sent to Pacashau as punishment for getting in trouble at home; there’s Vi’s husband, who ran away two years ago and has been hiding out in the military ever since; there’s the lack of funds at the church for continuing to send the choir to the competition; there’s the choir member who hasn’t been with a man in four years; there’s the hardware store that’s about to go out of business; and there’s the battle for Keke’s affection between Jeremy and another local boy. “Joyful Noise” is always peeling off in a different direction, so nothing gains traction.
Now imagine the clichés that can rise out of such an ungainly construction of parts. Would you be surprised if I told you Jeremy charms goody-goody Keke out of her church girl ways? Would you be amazed if I told you he instantly figures out a way to ease Dexter’s Asperger’s symptoms? Would you be shocked if I told you Vi refuses to let Jeremy date her daughter? Would you be stunned if I told you the lovebirds sneak out, argue, break up and get back together? Would you be dumbfounded if I told you the choir loses at the regional level again, only to later learn that the officials of the competition disqualified the choir that beat them for having professional singers?
Those aren’t the movie’s worst sins. That comes at the end.
Spoiler alert: If you’ve never seen a movie like “Joyful Noise,” and truly have no idea how it turns out, then skip to the next paragraph. Now, let me ask you this: If for several weeks a choir practices one routine, how likely is it that during the middle of its live performance, its members would be able to stop and sing a different song, complete with synchronized dance moves, a multifaceted light show, moving platforms, solos, duets and more - all without the band missing a beat? The movie’s climax is over-the-top ridiculous, even for a product that’s solely engineered to please audiences.
What bothered me the most about “Joyful Noise,” though, was how it pandered to both “spiritual” and “worldly” viewers. Instead of singing gospel songs during church services, the choir sings Michael Jackson hits, and when a man dies while spending the night with the choir member who “hasn’t been with a man in four years,” the pastor of Divinity just rolls his eyes. The movie wants to draw in the Jesus crowd, but not offend nonbelievers, and ends up having no conviction whatsoever.
The one bright spot in “Joyful Noise” is the music, which is quite good. It didn’t get me singing the movie’s praises, though.
Rated PG-13 for some language, including a sexual reference. One star out of four. Email David Laprad at dlaprad@hamiltoncountyherald.com